The Audio Stylings of Chris Levens
"I'm a Gangster"

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And now I'm blogging.

As my first blog, I find it necessary to set down a few guidelines before the festivities begin. First, all misspellings are intentional. They serve to express my artistic side. As you will be able to see from my writing, I am always breaking linguistic conventions by refusing to play by the communication rules most of you so easily accept. Yet I stay within the lines enough so that the average English reader can at least make out the shapes of my thoughts. Second, you may find that I run a strange similarity to Chris Levens. For some reason the powers that be created two of us out of the same test tube; Chris got the looks and I got the runs. I attribute our similarities to a common muse that inspires us both. Chris fights with the muse more (thus explaining the muffled grumblings and karate chops we all so frequently witness him performing) while I usually just give in to her beckoning. As a result we end up with similar gifts in different wrapping. Mind you, Chris has the edge on entertainment and I dare not measure myself against that standard. Third, I am married. So if my poetic writing and snappy commentary melt your heart, please don't send me flowers or toys. Besides, I have quite ugly feet and a bad case of halitosis so you wouldn't want to get messed up with a guy like me. At this point you may be wondering how a married guy has time to blog. Well I don't. If my wife catches me doing this she will have my ______ in a nap sack and stick in a __________ with it and throw all of it in the river with out asking _______ if they mind. Well, that isn't entirely true, as you know. She actually keeps coming in here and tries to read what I write. I throw my hands on the screen and yell at her until she leaves. She can't see until I'm done. If she were to read it she would say, "That's dumb. Your actually going to post that. Nobody will read it". Now you understand why I don't want her to read it -- she's right. If I heard her say that before I posted, I would start erasing stuff and it just wouldn't be the same. So I just write and post before I come to my senses. That way when my wife reads it and says "That's . . . it" I can replay, "Well you read it". Too Shay! To Chet! (I hate French).

I would like to take a moment to recognize Seth Hahne for the wonderful blog site with the really hip, bloodthirsty Mongoloid hair dresser as my mascot. I think that is fitting, since I am half Phillipino now.

I would like to leave you with an insipring message I heard from Bill Graham at his annual "Keep the faith groovy" conference for Christian Children of the Jesus People Movement located in Bakersfield. Here is a transcript, "Friends are like shadows - they will follow you everywhere. What I am trying to say is you won't have any friends at night, so watch out!"
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