The Audio Stylings of Chris Levens
"I'm a Gangster"

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Temporary eternal truth discovered yesterday: If you don't conform to my standards of non-conformity than you are a no good, superficial, shallow conformist. This temproary eternal truth inspired by Rage Against the Macheine. About rock and roll icons who try to be deep: Stop!!!!!! You can't. It just isn't possible when your dumb. This is why I like bands that don't try to make any points. THey realize that they are good mucisians and so they focus on their strengths. No need to make a difference in the world. THeir music is contribution enough. Leave the thinking to those with the abilities and we will all get along. THis is the reason I try not to understand the lyrics of most of the music I listen to.

Temporary Eternal truth #2: deconstrution isn't anti-CHristian. Why would we think so? I tottally agree that the works of men are self-destructive and self-defeating. We need to think of Derrida and Fish as our allies in high places who can help discredit all the beef balogna the world thinks is fact. Now when you apply this standard to GOd's Word you get a different story. But that is where we can make a modification to the system. This temporary eternal truth also inspired by Rage Against the Macheine. While I was listening I realized how easy it is to deconstruct their songs and how deconstrutionism can be applyed to my everyday life. I think I will do a semon about it. No, a sermon series called: How you can acheive personal victories through deconstrutionism. First week-marriage. Second week-family. Third week-work. Fourth week-emotions. Fifth week-friends. Sixth week-microwave cookery.
 9:35 AM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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Sow if you want to reap. Reap if you want to eat. Eat if you want to be able to sow again so you can reap again and eat again and sow again and reap again and eat again and sow again. Man, I can't wait for the eschaton when we will eat from the tree of life and drink from the streams of living water, food that does satisfy and a drink that will not make us thirsty again.
 8:37 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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Am I getting bigger or are watermelons getting smaller?
 6:03 PM   •  7 satisfied customers!!  

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Anybody want a job with a publisher? Duties are basic Account management (servicing existing accounts and getting new accounts) and a little bit of marketing and writing. I am leaving and me x-boss asked if I knew anyone who would be interested. I told her I don't think so. Am I right? It's not as glamorous as you may think. Yeah, driving in a Jaguar is cool, wearing my Rolex is nice, eating sushi all day long isn't bad, handicap parking I'll miss, 10% discount at the car wash is a plus, 5% back on all day-old produce at Bernie's discount market is OK. But what I'll really miss is walking into a store and asking to speak with the Manager/Owner and saying, "Hey dude, wanna cary our tubular book in your killer store?" Then getting the how-can-I-shake-this-pesky-salesman stuppor and listening to all their stupid excusses. Can't blame them, I am the equivalent of a telemarketer --and telemarketers, yes the offense is intended. It is like getting shot down over and over again. I'm too sensitive for that. But the crying usually grabs their attention. Than I heep the whole orphfan/widower/ADHD/dyslexia/spelling disorder thing on them and boom, I got a new customer. I want to know who said cheaters never prosper.
 12:44 PM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Repetition isn't always a bad thing. Repetition isn't always a bad thing.

Repetition isn't always a good thing.

Repetition is just a thing. Is it? Hmmm. . . we're treading some murky metaphysical waters here. Best we step out before I start breaking out my Ockam and delve into Universals. And none of us want that.
 11:42 PM   •  1 satisfied customer!  

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I got this email today. Do you think it is legit? I think you should email the guy with your thoughts.

If you are a time traveler or alien and or in procession of alien or government technology I need your help! My case is truly genuine! I seek to work with someone who is of a kind nature, someone I can call my savior as well as a friend. My life has been severely tampered with and cursed by evil beings!! I have suffered tremendously and am now dying! I need to be able to: Travel back in time. Rewind my life including my age back to 4. I am in great danger and need this immediately! I want to work with you in any way possible. I am aware of two types of time travel one in physical form and the other in energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the dimensional warp or the brain snapshot device and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self. I'm almost certain the dimensional warp would be the safest and best solution. Please explain how safe and what your method involves. I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless without a vortex. If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator or where I can get some of the blue or red glowing moon crystals this would also be helpful. I am however concerned with the high level of radiation these crystals give off, if you could provide a shielding this would be helpful. I believe the vortex would have to be east-west polarized, North-south polarized vortexes are used for cross-dimensional time travel only. Also, I know about the three dimension 4 bit (CODE) our universe is written in. If you are one of the very few beings who can edit this code, or know the passwords which can be spoken over a vortex, please reply! If you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE) email to: powerhouse213@aol.com Thanks
 9:14 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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I'm thinking of becoming a King. Does anyone want to become a vassel? If we pool our resources together we will be able to ward off the threats of our government. To get started I will need a few valiant knights: First a few powerful atournys--the courts is where we need to have great strength. Second, a slick, handsome salesman type-- we need someone to woo the simple-hearted. Third, a manufaturer-- we need to produce valuable goods to boost our economy. Fourth, a news reporter-- we need someone to spin and interperate world events to keep moral up. If you have any of these skills, please email me. We don't have much time to lose. If you are interested in the protection of my kingdom, please let me know what you have to contribute and I will take you into consideration. There are very few that I will forbid enterance so don't be intimidated.
 12:12 PM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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I"ve been so sick. I want to just curl up and turn into a lima bean. How long will this bug torture me? Where can I get the magic spell to rid me of this curse? I long for the days of Merlin. I need my own magician who can twinkle his nose and make me well and give me the power to start fire with my eyes. Yeah, that's what I want-- the power to start fire with my eyes.
 9:25 AM   •   like your cut?  

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I may need to sell my Chevelle and buy an economy car - since I will be driving alot with my new job. What kind of car should I get? Civic? Pick-up?
 9:16 AM   •  9 satisfied customers!!  

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I have a job!!! Woo Hoo! Starting in June I will be a Real Estate Appraiser. Woo Hoo! The office is litterally 5 minuets from my house. Woo Hoo!
 6:53 PM   •  1 satisfied customer!  

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I've heard you shouldn't toot your own horn. After living with my wife I have come to realize that horn tooting is just a way of life. So I toot: read my endorsments. They are really funny. I forgot that they were funny. I don't even remember writing them. I made my self laugh last night just by reading them. They start out a bit slow but just keep getting better.

I apologize for the horn tooting-- I'll roll down a window or turn on a fan.
 12:04 AM   •  1 satisfied customer!  

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Dreamed I was a tomato. Everyone else was a BLT with out the T. All of a sudden I had more friends than I ever had before. I started cozying up with this curvy little BLT in a bikini. She says, "let's take a bath." After I'm all cleaned up she brings out this largish knife and tries to take a few slices out of me. Moral of the dream: never trust curvy things in bikinis.
 8:28 AM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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Some day eyebrow peircings will be an out dated, old foggy ornament. THe younger kids will know what era you are from by an eyebrow piercing.

A hot, rebelious fad will cease to be hot and rebelious when everybody is doing it. When 5th graders start doing it, it is no longer punk rock. If they sell it at Tilly's, it is no longer punk rock. Pop punk and punk are different things. Eventually, after everybody has done or worn something, it goes out of style. THe die hards will be dated by their holding-on.

This isn't a bad thing, it is just a plain and simple fact. I read it in a infallible book by Tom Snider.
 9:07 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Why is an active voice supposed to be written by us? What is wrong with a passive voice in writing? A passive voice is preferred by me. I think a person’s use of the active or passive voice is determined by their metaphysics. What is meant by me is shpling a shplonga da dinga doo.

What is at issue: do you control your insides or do your insides control you? Insides control retarded people and crazies. Athletes and governors control their insides. I prefer a balance. Who wants to be in control all the time? Sometimes I like to just freak out. ^^&!!!!
 7:56 PM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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What is the benefit of honor when you are dead?

I’ll tell you: honorable deaths come as a choice. The choice is between an honorable death or a cowardly life. The honorable man would prefer to die than to live as a coward.
 11:57 AM   •   like your cut?  

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Our home is our home. It's back. It's all ours. Our friends have found a place and moved out. It is sort of quite around here now. THat is good. Sometimes it's sad. It was kind of fun having them here.
 9:01 AM   •   like your cut?  

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The Dane is coming over for Cornish game hens tonight. Yippie!! What, you want to come too? Well come on then. I got four and there are only three of us. Sure, bring a bottle of wine. Oh, you want to bring ripple instead? What ever. Just bring enough for yourself. I got a nice bottle of Thunderbird that we'll be partaking of. Be there around 5-5:30pm. We got to be done around 6:49ish. Would you like collard greens to go with that? Oh sorry, I forgot. We are supposed to call then African American greens now aren't we. Well, would you like some of those?

And, by the way, Cornish game hens are eats for funny people. It makes you feel like a giant.
 9:05 AM   •  13 satisfied customers!!  

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Do you know about the death of Christianity in American Froniter literature? If so, tell me what you know.
 7:44 PM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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Life lesson #2: Native English speakers are exempt from proper spelling of their native language. Just like we (native speakers) don't really need to know the parts of speech. I can speak and write how's I wants to and I communicate. Reason: Newton's fifth law of thermal energy difussion and reprobation.
 10:49 AM   •  1 satisfied customer!  

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Life lesson: the louder you speak to ESL people the better they will understand. It is true, I've lived it. If you raise your voice a little while you speak to a non-native English speaker they are more likly to understand you. Reason: unknown.
 10:46 AM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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I got this email from someone yesterday. Is it for real?

Hello John. I think you are the coolest guy in the world. How did you become so cool? No one compares to you. Can you give me some cool tips so that I can be like you? How do you do your hair? How about your cool clothes-where do you get them? And your great fasion taste, were you born with it or did you go to school for it? Can we be friends?

Sincerely,

Envious in Encinitas.

Well Envious, it isn’t easy being as cool as I am. In fact it is a lot of hard work. We’ll take my hair for example, since you asked about it. I spend about a half hour twice a year on my hair. You didn’t think I was born with great locks like theses do you? It takes time baby, it takes time. IF your still curios I can give you a few more tips on how to be cool like me. Just let me know.
 8:58 AM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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The faux-Eschatological plot struction: main charachter faces increasingly difficult challenges that threaten the livelyhood of himself his loved ones. These threats come to a head in final challenge that is the most difficult. When this final foe is defeated all is well. They live happily ever after --the escaton ensues.

Notice how in out basic story/movie plot we have this idea of everything being set straight by a final battle. After the final battle there are no longer any threats to our happiness. It is funny the way the eschatological is hard wired in the human understanding. Unfortunately our longing for the eschatological is unsatisfied by the heros of our stories and we always encounter a new threat to our happiness.

Praise God for the eschatological hope we have in Jesus.
 8:59 PM   •   like your cut?  

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Yes! I got an interview to be a real estate appraiser. It will be around the same time I finish my course work. I hope they will see what an asset I will be and that it will be worth it to hire me before I take the state exam. I expalained that I was in the middle of my coursework and he still wanted to interview me. I guess that is a good sign. I'm thrilled.
 8:32 AM   •  1 satisfied customer!