The Audio Stylings of Chris Levens
"I'm a Gangster"

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I would like to take a moment and lament the state of our youth today.
It is a shame that the youth of today don't peg their pants. For years, pegged pants were the norm for out patriotic youth. It built charachter. It made your skin thick. It taught you that if you want to succeed in this world you need take care of #1.

It is a shame that the youth of today don't wear Maui and Sons shirts. For years, Maui and Sons taught our youth to respect their elders. It gave direction. It encouraged honesty. It taught you that what comes around goes around.

It is a shame that the youth of today don't like speed metal. For years, speed metal taught our youth that the early bird catches the worm. It increased drive. It sharpened your senses. It taught you to avoid sweets.

In short, the children of today will not turn out as well as we (people my age) did.
 10:59 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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All art is completely useless. This is from the sublime Oscar Wilde again. Have you noticed that I am fond of his literary critical theory? Yes, I may categorize myself as an Aesthete --very unpopular these days in critical theory. But I just love it. All art is completely useless. Isn't that perfect, beautiful, captivating? It flys in the face of so much hub-bub by all the moralists (Deconstructionists, Marxists, Feminists, Ecocritics, etc. etc.). And I just love flying in the face of things. But I agree out of more than just a backlash against the moralists. I think he is so right. Wilde's sentiments are for those that just enjoy art for the sake of art, not because they are trying to change the world, which is so boring.

On a darker note, sunshine and happiness.
 9:44 AM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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When you are on the road as much as I am you tend to run into all sorts of interesting people, places and things. Nouns, in other words. Take for example this happy little fellow. I thought it was so cute that he just curled up on the street to take a nap. He didn't even get scared when I got real close to him. I left a peice of my sandwhich there for him to eat when he wakes up.
 10:06 AM   •  11 satisfied customers!!  

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Amazing Time Piece. A little before 2pm today I looked at my watch. It told me the correct time. I was flabbergasted. My watched stopped working a few days ago (don't ask why I still wear it). And it just so happened that I referenced it for time advice at one of the two moments it is right each day. My glance was unintentional since I can't seem to remember that it is broken. What a Ka-wink-ee-dink! Is there some greater plot going on that I am getting sweept into? Was the moon in line with Jupiter? How could it be that a broken chronometer informs me without guile?

The best part was when I looked up from my watch. Everyone around me in the parking lot was staring at me. They knew something was going on. None of us knew what. After one or two minutes of awkward yet familiar stares we all resumed out lives. But our lives will never be the same.
 6:47 PM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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You can't live everyday like it is going to be your last. I know your grandpa told you this and his intentions were good. But he was, is and always will be wrong. You can't live everyday like it is going to be your last because:

1) Would you go to work/school on your last day of school?
2) Would you keep any of your money in the bank?
3) Would you sleep in?
4) Would you continue to pretend that everything works out for the best and you are alright?

If you lived everyday like it was your last, well . . . it probabaly would be your last. What you don't know is that your grandpa, though unaware of his own intentions (as any good Freudian would tell you), was trying to kill you. Now don't go and spit on his grave or anything. All you need to do is re-evaluate everything he ever told you and keep the good stuff like, "put your right shoe on first" and "keep a dime in your shoe in case you need to make an emergency call", but toss all the suspisious stuff like, "Live everyday like it was your last" and "Why don't you scoot right up to the T.V. while you watch it . . . there you go, touch your nose to the thing" and "Pull the dog's tail real hard. Dogs love that."
 10:11 AM   •  8 satisfied customers!!  

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Universal Law: Any movie will be good if it plays an old Pink Floyd song during the opening credits.
I discovered this law last night as I put in the movie Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. Just take a wild guess what is playing during the opening credits? That's right: Pink Floyd. The song Seamus from the album Meddle -- a very fine album, if I must say so myself.

Well, I only watched about 15 minutes of it before I had to go to a BBQ*. But I must say, I think the movie is great. Any movie that has a Pink Floyd song is good.


This is great BBQ wheather, by the way.
 10:19 AM   •  9 satisfied customers!!  

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I would like you to tell me something. This is for those of you who don't know Chris (Les Crivens). When you go to this site and see Les Crivens and you read the way he writes, what do you think is going on? What kind of guy to you think Chris is?

I don't know about you, but I think it is the funniest site on earth. That picture --- man, what is going on? Is he acting? Is he going to sneeze? Such ambiguity -- it would make T.S. Elliot proud. And the way he writes. Do you think he is just an artist or what? Or do you think he is like some super brainiac who is a little off kilter?

I hope my questions don't influence your first impressions. But I really want to hear what you think Chris is all about. I am friends with the guy, so I know what he is all about. I want to see how he comes off to the casual observer.

Please, leave me a little description. This is like a little sociology experiment I'm conducting.
 12:20 PM   •  13 satisfied customers!!  

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I was in the emergency room last night. I still have a head-ache.

But on the brighter side of life, it is perfectly warm today. You know, the type of warm where step out side and the whole world greets you with candy and flowers and music. You know, where you look up and the clouds have written you a wonderful, jovial poem and the sun tightens your skin. You know, where the pavment is all warm and cozy and you just want to cuddle up in it and the green-ness of the grass contrasts so magnificently with the blue-ness of the sky that you want hit you head on it (?). You know, where the general sense of well being makes you dumb and silent with contentment and you feel a need to wake up your sour old self that has been asleep for weeks in your sock drawer. Yes it is one of those days. I think today is a good day for a lemon-aide.
 11:06 AM   •  11 satisfied customers!!  

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Alright, I'm taking orders for the Medeski, Martin and Wood concert. It is on August 20th at the Hollywood Bowl. I'm buying my tickets now and if you are interested let me know so we can all sit together. Tickets will be about $25.50 with everything. It is way worth it. They don't come to So Cal very often. You all missed last year's show and you were all diminished in spirit for it. Don't make the same mistake again. I will buy my tickets by the end of this week. If I don't hear from you than you will be left out.

If you don't know who MMW is than you need to get on the ball. Check our their site, watch their little video, get some of their albums, become cool. Simple as that.
 10:02 AM   •  14 satisfied customers!!  

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I want to see if I can post pictures.

Here is my Chevelle I just sold.

Buff Pic #1

Buff Pic #2

Buff Pic #3


You gotta admit, the car is buff.
I miss the little guy. *snif . snif *
 10:55 AM   •  11 satisfied customers!!  

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Some things aren't worth talking about. Like the itch under my eye that is turning my skin dark green. My wife thinks it is that cleaner she spilled on my face. Nah, I say. I don't really like to talk about it. It is boring. Plus, the more I talk about it the more it seems to spread. For example, I mentioned it to my neighbor yesterday and today my vision is all messed up. It is like everthing is double. So now that I'm putting this on my blog as an example of something that isn't worth mentioning, I bet it will get worse.

Man, the sacrifices I make for yous.
 9:00 AM   •  4 satisfied customers!!  

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How about that? I'm in the office before 9am! Yes, it is going to be a grand, productive day today.

I think it is the over cast weather. Yes, overcastness does two good things: 1) makes Pink Floyd sound even better. 2) makes Johnny alive with excitment.

Speaking of music, I discoverd something yesterday. While listening to Toots and the Maytels a strange thing happened. An old pick-up pulled up along side of me. The rhythm of the pick-up's exhaust was in perfect timing with the song I was listening to. Hmmm, I thought to myself. Then the most revolutionary truth since adhesives was discovered dawned on me: when you play music eveything in your field of experience becomes part of the song; in other words, all of life as you experience it becomes one big music video. Bitchen!

So I thought I would put my theory to the test. I took out Toots and put in a little Luther Vandros. Once the sleazy saxaphone began to seduce me, this guy walks up, pace in step with the beat, wearing loafers with no socks, a denum button-up shirt tucked into some Dockers, sunglasses propped up on the top of his $45 hair-do and sipping a glass of white zinfindel with a big, stacked blond at his side. The sun began to set, I could hear the gental waves lapping. I turned the corner and found myself pulling up to my penthouse in Miami. The fire was on, a chicken dinner for two was waiting for me on the balcony, a bottle of white zinfendel was chilling ......

So I took Luther out and put Toots back in. The pick-up came back. The light turned green. I wiped the sweat off my brow.

Later that night, I melted the Luther CD with my lighter.
 9:16 AM   •  8 satisfied customers!!  

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And so I keep on keepin' on. Yes, even on a Tuesday I can keep on. As Booker T. Washington once said, "Come on Tuesday, give me all you got! Watch me keep on." I couldn't have said it better myself. D.H. Lawrence once tried to say it better himself: "I can keep on no matter what Tuesday brings." He doesn't quite cut it. I think Lacan's analysis of Lawrence's attempt to say it better than Washington was almost interesting: "Lawrence fails to say it better." I couldn't have said it better. Lacan just cuts right to it and leaves little for discussion.

"I bet she thinks Ziggy is getting too preachy also." Who said this famous quote?
 9:31 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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The liberal media doesn't like Eminem because he resembles a Republican. Ya see, the liberal media has spent so much time trying to characiture the political right as white, male, homophobic, misogynist, violent jerks. Now when a young rebelious type guy comes and fits this bill it really irritates them. Ya see, the liberals thought they had the monopoly on the young rebelious types. So now you can understand their outrage. Eminem is super popular and fronts a republican persona.

I like to see this sort of stuff going on.

By the way, I went in for an emergency root canal today. I really feel like punching someone.
 11:45 AM   •  7 satisfied customers!!  

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I wish I was a bumper-sticker-type-guy. If I was, I would make a sticker that says, "Stop the war of drugs." Instead, I would like to make a t-shirt with the slogan. But then again, I'm not the sort who advertise their ideologies. But I just don't think the position gets enough (any?) press. It should be a non-partisan position. Republicans should support ending the war on drugs because they supposedly support a limited government, reducing taxes and public expences and advocating personal freedoms. Now we all know this isn't always true. Democrats should support this because the Republicans don't and the Democratic platform is to contradict the Republicans. But we know that they aren't always consistant either. So instead we spend billions of dollars in propaganda, police, jails and rehab and limit personal freedoms for what?

Man, I'm still thinking of starting my own country. If I could just get a little scratch together. I would start by buying a little island somewhere. As it grew in popularity and economic stability I would start accepting applications for anexation. I figure it would start as a sort of archipelago.

In other news, I have to fake a paper on Milton this weekend. Oh, my prof. agreed with me about the similarities between Derrida and Quine. He said he didn't know anything about Quine and found the paper very interesting and educational. He's a big Continental guy (Neitzche, Derrida, Lacan, Heidegger, etc), which I knew very little of before this class, since I came from the analytic school (Russell, Quine, Peirce, etc). I was stoked to read his response.
 10:08 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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There is so much negativity. Almost everything that is said is critical of something or the other. I hate it! Everything is so dumb! Including me for being so critical of everything. See! I've been infected and now am part of the big cut down.

Well, I would like to say something positive about something, for a change. Now, this thing I'm going to say something positive about is actually negative --and that is what makes it so fun. I would like to express my hearty agreement with Oscar Wilde's great observation about poetry: "All bad poetry is sincere." AMEN!!!!
 9:15 AM   •  7 satisfied customers!!  

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What ever doestn't kill you makes you stronger. Not always true.

Have you ever seen someone after a stroke or serious heart attack? Permenantly weaker. Same with some one who fries their brain --like the guy in American Movie. Pemenantly weaker.

So next time someone tells you this, cut out one of their eyes and then see if they will still maintain their position.
 11:01 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Why is it that dispengelicals find more affinity with the Jewish faith than the Roman Catholic faith? For example, a dispengelical can relish in the cerimonies, customs and traditions of the Hebrews. But they never, ever relish in the traditions and cerimonies of the Roman Catholic church. I find this weird since the Roman church affirms the trinity, the incarnation, and Jesus Christ as the messiah. The Hebrew faith denies all these things. Yet you still hear dispengelicals praising Judism and downing Romanism. What gives?

On a brighter note -- Go Lakers!
 9:05 AM   •  8 satisfied customers!!  

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My wife slapped some sense into me. I woke up in the middle of the night and told her that I had a vision that hideous, evil slugs are in our living room. I asked her, "Do you want to go with me and see them?"
She said, "Do you really think they are there?"
I thought about it, took a leak and concluded that she was probably right, they weren't there.

 10:58 AM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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What is the value of being remembered after you die? Why do I want to be remembered after I die? What is the point? How does it benefit me?

Yeah, I know I'm being a bit selfish. But if I have this irrational desire to be remembered after I die, then I want to know what it is going to do for me. Otherwise, I don't want to mess around with creating a legacy. It is like dieing with a lot of money and land and cars and baseball cards. What good does it do you?

I want to die even. I want to die at the point where I have nothing, where I've used everything that is mine. I want to die when my life washes, when the checks cashed drain the bank account to zero. I want to die when people will be done with me --not before, when people will miss me, not after, when people are tired of me, but right at the point where people are done with me.

What makes this task difficult is there is no way to practice.
 10:34 AM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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I want to die doing something besides just getting old.

I found out why southern california is so crowded: it's the carne asada. You can go just about anywhere and get some good carne asada and a horchata--even in Ramona!
 6:29 PM   •  4 satisfied customers!!