The Audio Stylings of Chris Levens
"I'm a Gangster"

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Cutting your own hair is now the coolest thing you can do. In fact, as we all know, those who cut their own hair rule. Some say they are rad. Other, that they are the shiznitz. Call them phenomenal, fantastic, bitchen or borchanostic, it all ends in praise. Sensational, yes. Marvelous, of course. Cranky, no way!

On a mostly unrealated note, Cranky, Grouchy and Crabby are still three of the coolest words.
 11:20 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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"Life is too short to have socks you don't love" said Benjamin Franklin in his famous address to the French in 1764.
I prefer James Madison's revision, which is a bit more tollerent, "Life is too short to have socks you don't like a lot." Madison's main contribution to the topic is a realization that most people don't have the discretionary income to only have lovable socks --sometimes you have to live with socks you just like a lot. But the unifiying theme that I want to get a accross to you is the importance of not tollerating any socks in your collection that you don't like a lot. Life is too short for bad socks. This is the essence of the American dream.
That and siting at the rotating bar in the Circus Circus, which is the vortex of the American Dream.
 9:50 AM   •  14 satisfied customers!!  

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At the handicap table in Starbucks, I sit --no open tables elsewhere. I bust out my book, notebook, pen. Concern grips my head: what if a fellow in a wheelchair comes in and needs this seat? Some mental balm: nahhhh, hardley ever happens. I'll only be here for a little bit. My nose nesstles inside the book.
My nose in the book comes up to watch a circus on wheels scoot by. Crap! The wheelchair guy! And dear reader, please know, this was not your ordinary wheelchair guy. This was a professional wheel chair guy --he had all sorts of nick-nacks, stereos, peneants, pin wheels, streamers, paint, guitar, stuffed animals, buckets, granola bar boxes, plastic bags full of stuff attached to his very large wheelchair with tape, bungie cords, twine, jump ropes and rainbow suspenders. Crap! I'm in for it.
Now he is approching my table, with a big chocholate frozen whipped cream topped dome lidded green strawed yummy thing in his hand. Our eyes meet. Mine drop to the floor first. I regain my confidence and look back at him. He is still stareing. No words --just eyes. My head drops with my eyes this time. My hands grab my book notebook pen. My feet hit the ground and I bolt for my car. I peel out of the parking lot, stop at the local AM/PM, turn off the car, bury my head in my hands and weep uncontrolably.

I'm still shaken up from the experience.
 9:31 AM   •  4 satisfied customers!!  

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The People's United Front Against Writers Block is demanding a federal grant to assisst in the creation of a Broadway musical depicting a writer with writer's block. "For too long, the media has portrayed the task of writing as a simple endevor", protests Michael Medevi, Assistent Project Coordinator at the PUFAW. Medevi, along with PUFAW, see government involvement in the writing community as the solution to writer's block. "We need an accurate portrayal of writers that will not disenfranchise the writing community. We need the people of the government to empower the overlooked and underappreciated minority of writers. We need to level the playing field."

The PUFAW plans to march on the capital in D.C. this Friday and will hold a vigil for the millions of writers that have never published a best seller due to writer's block. "As a writer in the USA" Medevi says to scores of cheering writers, "we have a right to write a best seller and it is the government's duty to make sure that no writer fail due to writer's block."
 12:49 PM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Cool book: Saying Yes: In Defense of Drug Use. I'm reading it on loan from the public library. Now whatever gripe you have about American freedom, you have to admit that it is cool when the governemnt supplies us with literature that advocates things the government opposes.
 10:15 AM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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Some things just aren't worth being said. For example, the fact that some things just aren't worth being said, isn't worth being said. And it goes without saying that saying that the fact that it isn't worth being said that some things just aren't worth being said, isn't worth being said.

Some things go without saying. For example, the fact that some things go without saying, goes without saying.

It might be worth saying that the phrase "it goes without saying" is a strange idiom. "It", in the phrase, is supposed to be a pronoun (I think --don't kill me grammar snobs, just help me) that stands for a statment or phrase. What is weird about this is that statements or phrases aren't usually refered to as 'going' anywhere. So how can a statement 'go without saying?' I don't even see how a statement can go with saying.
 11:39 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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I think hot wings sounds like the right thing to do.

And why are my posts turning into small little two liners?
 4:54 PM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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Let's stop confusing America and Freedom.

We have less personal freedoms now than most people under monarchy had hundreds of years ago.


 9:24 AM   •  8 satisfied customers!!  

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Does autobiography seem really, really conceited?

But I thought you might like to know that I'm still clickin' my heels.
 11:39 AM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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Poetry Rules!

Funny that you don't hear kids scream this very often. Funny you don't hear anyone scream this very often.

Why?

Maybe it is because poetry doesn't rule.

But in some fantastical world where poetry does rule, I think it would be safe to say that Yeats would be high up there in the command. And I would hope that he would kick Wordsworth's butt. And there are a lot of other people I hope he would hurt, like Robert Frost and William Blake.
Colridge, Elliot and Keats can assist Yeats in beating silly poets up. Now this would be a cool world where poetry would rule.
 10:57 AM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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High school kids are the most physically able people in our society. Yet they do the least amount of work. They play, hang out, sit in classes where they get to doodle all day, and they watch T.V. and they only pay for things they want to pay for. This is why it is hard for people to let go of high school life. Frankly, it is the best. All that happens afterward is the mounting of responsibilities, bills, and pains in body, mind, soul and heart.

High school is a horrible preperation for life. All it does is fill your little mind with a fairy tale and generates all sorts of unrealistic fantasies (sorry if this is coming off bitter). There is no period in life that will be anything remotely similar to high school life. Even retirement won't be comparable --after 65 you hurt all over you body and are very limited in what you can do and no one takes care you, the nursing home is preparing your cot, and Death is licking Her lips.

Solution: end compulsory public education. This is just one of the many, many, many good reasons why compulsory public education is a big pail of canalope snot.

On the brighter side of life, Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie is pretty good. And to think that I thought the books for my Contemporary novel class didn't look so hot. I'm glad I was wrong.
 1:58 PM   •  7 satisfied customers!!  

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What is the key element to interesting reading?

The Druids thought that the best books are the sort that make you flip the pages --you know, the sort of book you can't put down. The result was a lot of low quality sex and violence books, since this is what made the largest number of people interested.
The Visigoths reacted to the Druids by saying the best books are the sort that change the reader, alter the reader, makes the reader a different person. This was alright at first, and was a welcome shift from the sex and violence of the Druid paperbacks, but it got old. Everyone was changing so rapidly that they stopped reading; they didn't have time to enjoy a new state of being longer than a few weeks. This became a bummer when you were particularly enjoying a certain state of being --why would you want to change? So the book business took a plunge. It stayed like this until the Whigs in the New World broke some new literary ground. The Whigs said the best books are those that help you in some way. The Whigs created a lot of self-help manuals, inspirational reading and encyclopedias. Now this new idea gained much support. The problem was it alienated a certain type of reader; it alienated the reader who was looking for something more than help, entertainment or the power to change.
The Johnny Ts fall in this category of reader, but we are still unable to explain what it is we are looking for. So I ask you, what is the key element to interesting reading?
 10:38 AM   •  3 satisfied customers!!  

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Deep down inside we all want to be _________.
 8:55 AM   •  14 satisfied customers!!  

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What is Labor Day for, and we don't we have them more often?
If it is a celebration of all us hard workers, well, I feel a bit unappreciated. One day in 365 to celebrate my hard work. Is that supposed to make me feel great about working? Why can't they have the old fashioned sort of celebrations; you know, the kind that last for a week. Now that would make me feel good.

 10:56 AM   •  4 satisfied customers!!