The Audio Stylings of Chris Levens
"I'm a Gangster"

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Are you more of a participle person or an infinitive person? In other words, would you prefer "I like writing" or "I like to write"?

The answer to this question says volumes about who you are. The answer being the content and the manner in which you answer or, even more telling, if you don't answer at all. I just read a really good and big book on this subject. Facinating.
 4:10 PM   •  13 satisfied customers!!  

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Thanksgiving Day is losing my favor, according to a major academic publication. The main reason cited is the blurry oscillation between state and Christianity. Is it a religious or a state holiday? Well, it is both, and this is what annoys me about it. What business does the federal government have sanctioning a religious holiday? None, quite frankly. Why do Christians think it is really cool to have federal backing for thier un-earthly religion? Does state approval lend credibility to God's revelation of Himself?

Lincoln's move to give America a New England origin and identiy by creating a holiday that exploits the population's Christian faith in order to strengthen the North's sense of superiority and authority over the South in the midst of civil war is not something that creates all sorts of warm fuzzys, at least for me.
 2:28 PM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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For my first novel, I will write about a female who gets stranded on an island of men and men only. This is obviously a play on the standard plot of a man winding up on an island or planet of just women --hot, scantily clad women, I might add. Well, as we all know, in the traditional plot this happy turn of events is supposed to be the man's dream; he thinks he will become a sort of King Solomon on the island. And then, of course, his dream turns into a nightmare. Instead of submisive and easy babes, these ladies are somehow a-sexual and domineering. He ends on a stick in the fire, castrated and humiliated. Well my novel, which starts as a twist on the standard, will continue to twist. This planet of men would seem to be a woman's nightmare, but it will turn out to be her dream. As in the standard, there is something unatural about these women who can exists without men. So in my version, these men feel no need for women, and they are not gay. Finding herself on this island of men, she immediately thinks she is going to be man-handled to death. But she finds these men are somehow not interested in doing the funky chicken. Instead, they are quite, pliable, spineless eunuchs, happy to do her bidding. She finds herself as a demigod among these men who cannot stand up to her. When a patrol boat finds her and attempts to save her, she orders her minons to sink the ship and cook the crew. There is no way in hell that she is going to get off this island. She ends up growing old and dieing while all the men stay the same age --as I said, there is something unnatural about this island. The men soon forget her and get on with there lives of fishing and patato sack races.
 8:44 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Happy endings are the opiates of the masses.
 11:39 AM   •  8 satisfied customers!!  

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Loafers is a great name for shoes to loaf in. Depression, it has been said, is linked to lack of loafing. Usually, the size of one's smile is in proportion to the amount of one's loafing. The loafing experience is hightened when wearing the proper shoes. Loafers are often perscribed for those suffering from bi-polar syndrome and high anxiety.

I think this is a paraphrase from an artice published in the American Scientific Journal of Medicine.
 12:17 PM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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Now the Man figured out how to control me. To thier credit, they also dupped me into paying the bill. It is my root canals. They inserted this little metal rod in there, jammed in my roots. I had to pay extra for that. Now I think it is picking up vibrations and radio transmissions. It is jammed in my skull now and transmits radio and sound waves dirrectly to my brain. It really sucks. Due to recent advances in industrial pshycology, the Man figured out that certain vibrations mediated through an inserted steel rod can produce certain predictable results in most people. And I'm one of them now. What to do? I don't know. I guess I just have to live with it.
 10:56 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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And some of those eye brows that are big and shaggy and white with age. This is what I would like to have when I'm retired.
 8:41 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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How does one fall out of thought? Yesterday, in the midst of lofty thought, I fell. I tumbled out of thought and was not able to regain the ground I lost. What happened? Why is it that lofty thoughts, regardless of their merit, are impossible to regain once lost? Is thinking like mountain climbing? I think it is.

Due to this universal and absolute truth, I will start to set up base camps when contemplating. This way, when the thinking becomes too risky I will have a retreat to reasses my route and stratagize about assending. This will also help to preserve the gained ground and will limit losses due to tripping and falling.
 9:58 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Ghandi didn't wear shoes, which made his feet leathery. He didn't eat much, which made him frail. He was very spiritual and mystical. His poor diet gave him really bad breath.

Put is all together and it makes Ghandi a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis.
 11:01 AM   •  6 satisfied customers!!  

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Of course you have heard of Kid Rock. But I never caught the genius of his name. It is a play, a double entandra without the risque conotation, it is equivical. It can be "Kid Rock" with the 'kid' being in the nomative and the whole taken as a personal pronoun. Now to equivicate, the 'kid' is used as an adjetive to describe the type of rock, as in "Adult Rock", "Teen Rock", "Senior Rock", this is rock for kids, "Kid Rock." Now can't you picture a CD that has a handful of 5-8 year olds in leather jackets with guitars, drum sticks sans the drums, one of those key boards that has a strap and is worn like a guitar. These kids would be against a bright pink backdrop and each would be positioned on a primary shape (square, rectangel, triangle, circle) and hovering above them is the name of the CD "Kid Rock."

So, the moral of the story is, Kid Rock, though I can't say much for his music (since I have never heard it), has a really cool and sophisticated name.
 9:06 AM   •  1 satisfied customer!  

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On a blog, can you plagerize? Legitamatly?

What if I wanted to quote something without referanceing the quote? Would that be bad?

Well, since I am unsure, I will err on the side of caution. This is from a song by D.J.Shadow and I thought is summed up my whole life in a few sentances.

Actually, it is more of a praphrase since I don't know the exact wording.

"I find it very difficult to find the right music for the mood. There is nothing worse than making the wrong choice except rummaging through your collection and finding nothing at all.
And then . . I find . . just the right thing."

*choke*
*wheeze*
That is really touching. It is like he knows me and the struggle and pain of my life.
 9:39 AM   •  2 satisfied customers!!  

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Tell me, what questions come to your mind when you read an opening sentence like this one: Tell me, what questions come to your mind when you read an opening sentence like this one.

Oh, and by the way, forcing Democracy on other countries is a form of colonialism. Let's not kid ourselves. Let's be real honest about what we are doing internationally.
 10:20 AM   •  7 satisfied customers!!  

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Xenophobia and Children's Cartoon Villans: An Exposure of Hegemony, by Johnny T.

I'm going to try and make it quick. Think of Cobra Commander from G.I.Joe. Now think of The Claw from Inspector Gadget. These two cartoon vilians share something: strangness. Neither of them have a face. Cobra is covered by a mask and The Claw's face is never shown and his hand is covered in metal. Now compare with the hero of these cartoons: G.I.Joe and Inspector Gadet. Both are average white boys. The enemy of these average white boys is the faceless one, the unkown, the unfamiliar, the alien. By masking the identity of the enemy, children's cartoons foster xenophobia. Those who are strange and foreign are lumped in with the likes of Cobra Commander and The Claw.

But this is nothing new nor only attributable to children's cartoons. Think of Star Wars: Luke as the average white boy verses the masked Darth Vader. Think of Lord of the Rings: Frodo as the slightly less average shortish English lad verses the masked and/or faceless Sauron. Think of River Fighter: Jared as the average white Swiss boy fighting the masked Crandor from the Underworld in a riviteing battle of good and evil.
 9:59 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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If I was mayor, I would declare war on uncontrolable fires. Uncontrolable fires have been an enemy of mankind before terrorism and drugs. Fires have claimed more lives that you can shake a stick at. If there is one thing we must overcome if we are to become eternal being here on earth, then we must defeat uncontrolable fires. Think of the children. Every year, children get seriously hurt and killed by fires. This is not a small issue. Our lives and the lives of our children depend on our ability to get fires under control. It is the essence of freedom to be liberated from the tyranny of uncontrolable fires. It is our right as Americans to live lives without fear of uncontrolable fires. We cannot sit still and just hope that the fires will go away. We must declare war.

So vote for me next election and I will rid this city of uncontrolable fires.
 10:24 AM   •  9 satisfied customers!!  

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Self expression is overrated. First off, most people's self expression isn't very interesting; at least not to me. Secondly, expressing myself isn't all that fulfilling.

I think the problem is we are under the impression that we have something worth expressing. Like this little ditty on the over rating of self expression. I say it because I feel it is worth saying. But then the dual bummers of self expression bite me in the butt: One, it is an expression of myself that isn't all that interesting; Two, I don't have an overwhleming sense of fulfilment after expressing it.

This is where brand clothing becomes really helpful. With the help of a clothing brand I can borrow the expression of a large corporation. Who can compete with the interesting and fulfilling expression of West Coast Choppers, Quasar, Lost, Quicksilver and Ecko Red? Brand clothing takes the idea of economies of scale and applies it to self expression. The result: happiness for millions of people. Plus, an increse in share holder profit. It is trully a win-win situation.
 10:29 AM   •  5 satisfied customers!!  

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The room in Santa Barbara smelled like mildew. To make up for this, my wife pictured herself on top of a big building on the way home.


 5:41 PM   •  2 satisfied customers!!