I wanted you all to know that a public school district in Minnesota passed an ordinance this morning PROHIBITING high school students from hugging. The same school district's junior high program has a mandatory distribution of condoms program.
Let me make this as clear as I can -
kids ages 15 to 18 can not hug
kids ages 11 to 14 can hump
If you think I am kidding, please watch the news.
I don't have to reduce pagans arguments to absurdity when they do such a good job of doing it themselves ...
• Sundays are supposed to be uneventful, filled with lots of sleep between church services.
Since Elltiott has been gone, in South America, I've been using the Nissan. Yesterday, on the way to my parents house from church, I got into an accident while driving that same Nissan.
How can that be sabatical?
Admittently it was all my fault. There's no point in arguing that fact, since I was cutting straight (nearly perpendicular) across all four lanes so that I could make the next left. In my own defense though, so as not to look like a careless driver, I did look before I made the move. However, I didn't see anybody there. So as I cut across the lanes, and I heard a horn blaring in my ears, I thought to myself, as I glanced in my mirrors, that couldn't be for me...CRUNCH!
Okay, maybe it was for me.
We pulled over into the Texaco station to look at the damage and exchange info. Seconds, and I do mean seconds after I opened my door and got out of the car...screeeeecchhhh!!! CRASH!! Not more than 20 yards away from where we bumped, some guy slammed into someone elses rear end. The 5-o's were there in a flash. We both turned our heads to glance at the accident, sort of cringed at its ugliness, turned back to look at each other (and by the way, I might inject here that she was certainly worth the "crash". What a boy will do for love....) and all I said was "Well, it could be worse".
She laughed.
Score!
Needless to say, I didn't get much of a nap yesterday. Now I'm pooped.
• You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
--I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.
--I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
--One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
--If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
--I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I thought those were soooo funny when I read them!!
• If I were stranded on an island, and I could only take three things with me, I'd have a match and two midgets. One to give me a massage, while the other drops grapes into my mouth.
The match? I don't know, it just sounded like something I would want if I were stranded on an Island. 2:04 PM
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Wednesday, February 21, 2001
• So if we figure this cloning thing out, can we make all the small people we want? 10:48 PM
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• I recieved this email from my boss today ----------------------------------------
Friends -
Well, unless some of you do not have a television or newspaper, I assume we are all familiar with the controversy surrounding Eminem, (aka Slim Shady), and his grammy nominations and scheduled performance for tonight. There is uproar everywhere you turn regarding this highly controversial rapper, as his lyrics are told to reflect a "hateful" attitude towards women and gays. He "raps" his way to a discussion of spousal abuse, and uses all kinds of really mean and violent metaphors along the way. The media, the liberal elite, and all sorts of very nice artists are outraged, and insist that he be stopped.
I have been in real turmoil over this issue, because I do not support violence against gays, and I certainly despise spousal abuse. I have spoken with a lot of other Eminem fans (of which I am one), and none of them seem to be for violence against gays or women either. This is really hard for me, because he is one of the most culturally relevant and recognized artists of last year, yet obviously the Grammy's are no place for him to showcase his bigotry and hatred ... What to do? What to do?
Fortunately, my liberal friends and colleagues have helped me out with this one - I now feel a peace. I have reviewed years and years of opinions from the left on the issue of free speech and expression, and it turns out the liberals are all for it. So, there is no need to worry! Everything will be fine. I have always been assured that the first amendment guarantees one the right to say anything they want, anytime they want. No restrictions. Carte blanche. Censorship is evil and it must be stopped. None of us believe in suppressing one's right to think and speak whatever he wants, so Eminem should be okay. Sure, we might find it a bit distasteful, but it doesn't matter - the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, Act-Up, and a host of other organizations would NEVER allow Eminem to be persecuted just for living out his first amendment right to say whatever socially irresponsible message he wants. Of course not! They would never contradict themselves.
No - the sad reality is - they are a bunch of damn hypocrites and they always have been. When Sinead O'Connor rips up a picture of the pope on Saturday Night Live, she is praised for expressing her "religious persuasion". When Tori Amos sings about the God who has raped her, she is graciously sharing her pain with the consumer buying public. But when a joker like Eminem makes a few meaningless wise cracks in a weird rap song against the politically protected of our culture, he must be stopped ... Free speech only applies to the liberals. As soon as you say something distasteful to them, the first amendment must be amended. I sit at my desk scratching my head.
For those of you who can not tell which parts of this email are serious, and which parts are sarcastic (because there is a lot fo DLB sarcasm in here), let me simply clarify - the idea of attacking gays with violence, or hitting your wife, repulse me. The guy is just a capitalistic rapper making a buck off of being controversial. But he has just as much right to express his garbage as the rest of those God-hating primadonnas do that will bore the hell out of us tonight with their "free speech" regarding rain forests and never drilling for oil in Alaska. Frankly, I would rather hear Eminem make a wisecrack about "smacking his bitch" then any of that crap anyways.
• For those of you who know Do To, you will appreciate the idea of him working for Kevin and Bean on the radio. For those of you who know Les Crivens, well, you'll appreciate the fact that I got him an interview this week with Jon Justice. He's a morning show co-host, and producer, for 103.9 kcxx in San Bernardino. While it does suck that we don't pick up that station here, I want you all to put aside your selfish (yet blameless) desires to listen in, and just be thankful that I've started the movement. Les Crivens will be famous!! 3:59 PM
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Monday, February 19, 2001
• I didn't have to work today after all. But now I have all this time to do some work I was supposed to get done a long time ago, and I don't feel like doing it. It's strange how motivation works. 1:43 PM
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Saturday, February 17, 2001
• I would hardly ever question your taste in quality, and rarely in entertainment, but I just can't figure out what it is about City of Lost Children that you find so worth while. Except maybe that French infatuation of older men with lit...younger girls? 12:11 AM
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Friday, February 16, 2001
• I hung out with Paul last night, and the Tuesday night study came up. I found myself defending Rob, because I knew what he was getting at and thought Paul didn't. It turns out, Paul did know what Rob was getting at, but just didn't like the term offer.
*sigh*
I remember the days when I got hung up on terminology. Not that I don't think choosing your words wisely is...not wise; I think it's very important to say what you mean, and to make sure that whoever you're saying it to knows what you mean. But at the same time, especially in a setting like our Tuesday night study, where I believe we're all on the same page theologically, knit-picking over words like offer is a bit exhausting.
Besides, if he looked it up, he'd see that it comes from the latin word that means to present. 4:03 PM
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Thursday, February 15, 2001
• Yesterday I went to the gym with Dave; finally. I was reaquainted with the idea of why I don't like large (or should I say popular) work out places. First of all, I don't like going to the gym to be distracted by hard bodies (women...for those of you who didn't know what I was talking about). I don't like waiting to use whatever weights, or bench I need either. But probably the worst part is the enrollment fee. I've never had to pay one, and I think it's disgusting that they would even charge it. But, I'm desperate and I figure if I really stick with it I'll make it worth my while. But that's not what I'm writing about. We finished our workout before I sat down with their "counselor", and as he waited for me to complete the information sheet, he decided he would fill the lull. I wish he hadn't. Out of no where he announces "You'll never believe where I met my girlfriend." "Oh yeah, where?" I ask. "On the internet." he says. I looked him dead in the eye and said "And you're volunteering this information?" "Oh yeah," he says, "it's great! I've met so many chicks on the computer." *sigh* 3:35 PM
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• It never crossed my mind to tackle this subject. As far as I'm concerned valentines is nonexistent. It's more of a figment of the slumbering Joe's imagination. But I found myself expounding to Tim in an email, and I thought it was amusing. It's more of a rambling session with some good points than a sensable arguement.
So you had a valentines day. Yeah, well, out of all the aspects in a relationship, valentines is one I don't miss. As far as I'm concerned it's just another scam put on by big business to rape us of all our money...and it's strongly encouraged by women because they're the ones that benefit. And it's not like we really have a choice, because if your lady friend expects to be celebrated on February 14th, well then by golly, we gotta comply. Which is our disadvantage as the man, because we're expected to do all the emotional "pleasing", and the "buttering up". But then you'd think it'd be different after you got married, because the bible definately says that the women are to serve the men.
Valentines day is then a dead "holiday" after the vows. So how is it that we always seem to have to worry about this meaningless day in the middle of no where on our yearly calander? I don't have a good answer.
But I would care to pursue one point I only briefly passed; the roles in a relationship. I just noticed that it's really a role reversal after the vows...at least theoretically. While we're dating, it's all on us (the men) to keep her happy and do the serving. We're the ones that have everything to prove. But after the vows, it's all on the chick to prove she can either make a home, make child, or hell, even make a dinner. Granted times are-a-changin', and women's libers are drastically making it worse for themselves and all other women alike.
Think about it, womens lib. is the worst thing that ever happened for/to women. All they've ever done is take the curse of man and heap it onto their own. Really, if they could step back and acutally understand what they're doing to themselves, I really believe that they wouldn't want to take over the corporate world, or politics, or the military, or weight lifting. Remember that God said he wouldn't present us with anything we can't handle. God divided the curse, so why would you want to add to it? Oh what fools we are sometimes.
• I thought of something while I was driving into work this morning. I was thinking about how people can have a theology with obvious contradictions, or inconsistencies and not be disturbed by it. There is of course the typical changing of definitions, which is probably the most common mistake these people make. For example, predestination becomes foreseen knowledge; slave to sin becomes free will; the heavens passing away with a great noise, and the elements melting away with fervent heat becomes a silent snatching away of God's children, and seven more years of mortal existence for the rest of creation (this is the one that really boggles my mind).
But I think if you follow their process of reasoning, and try to figure out how they've justified this nasty habit, it comes down to this: They're dumb. No, wait a second, I mean they have a misconception of logic. You could say that logic defines the truth of a matter, or at least reasons out the contradictions. God, being truth, must then be logical.
And this is where they make their mistake, because at this point they seperate God's logic from our logic, as if there could be more than one type. That's what allows them to redefine words and doctrines in order to fit their ideal concept of who God is, or how God acts. They'll argue when you accuse them of being illogical that God's logic is different than ours. Certainly God does reason differently (but only because he's in a better position to do so.) For instance, he's perfect. He controls all things, he sees all things, he hears all things...and we can't even tell whether or not that girl is looking our way because she likes us, or our fly is down. So God has an advantage, but that doesn't make his logic different, other than it's right and ours is probably wrong at times. What's logical is logical, and what is logical to us is logical to God, and what is logical to God must be logical to us. Of course, we may think something is logical and it isn't, but then again that doesn't change the fact of the matter that logic is always correct. If what we think is logical isn't logical, then it's illogical, which isn't really a type of logic at all. Am I making any sense?
Understanding what logic is, and how it works is one of the most important tools of understanding God's word. It's a shame that not everybody gets it. That's all I'm trying to say. 10:24 AM
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Wednesday, February 14, 2001
• The day has finally arrived ~ I'm heading back to the gym. I've given myself until the middle of May to shed...as much weight as it takes...to reach 175 lbs. Ladies, brace yourselves.
No more having to stretch before I put my shoes on. That's really what I'm looking forward to the most. You can always find a chick that likes a gut, but you can't always go outside barefoot.
