• My brother, Dave-E, was at his work yesterday when suddenly he heard a HUGE explosion and felt the building shake. Him and his buddy kinda looked around, wondering what it could'a been, when suddenly it happened again. They looked out the window and saw smoke coming from the street. It must've been a pretty big car accident, they assumed, before a lady came into the store and told them that a transformer had exploded and all the power was lost in the plaza. The explosion was so big that it blew a hole in the pavement, and there was fire coming out. Crazy to think what would have happened if a car was driving over it at the time huh? Just like a movie.
 1:35 PM   •  2 opinonated pieces of What? 

• This is for you Seth...you can not only appreciate the humor in this story, but you can also relate. It's an exerpt from one of Toby Curto's emails from Afghanastan. He's been there about a month now (he's in the Army Jag core).


Another way we pass time is by killing mice. We have a lot of mice over here, especially with all the food we have. We have mouse traps, but those are too easy. We have devised nooses, and traps consisting of peanut butter and a bucket of water to drown them. One of the attorneys up in K2 (Uzbekistan) killed seventeen mice in one day. We talk really tough, but it usually boils down to four men, jumping a mile into the air when we see a mouse and then beating it to death with a large, blunt object, whatever we have. If asked why we kill them, our primary reason is because of the germs and disease that they carry, but then we usually end up smashing it, spreading blood and guts everywhere, hence helping the spread of germs and disease. Nobody said we were smart, just creative.
 11:09 AM   •  3 opinonated pieces of What? 

• Here's my greatest story:


I attended a class for work today that was based on participation. Afterwards we all got a certificate in stabilization and functional training. But that's just fluff compared to what happened WHILE I was there.


You see, one of the activities we had to participate in was forming two single line rows. Then, we'd all stand in corrected posture, one foot off the ground, activated core (in layman, thats tightening our obliques, and stomachs, and butt muscles), and then perform various movements that challenged the core area. One of those movements required us to bend over, twist and hold. Remember we are in single line rows. So, anyone who wasn't in the front of the rows were putting their faces into someone elses butt. All the tightening and squeezing of the stomach muscles must've really jarred something loose inside me, cuz as soon as I let my glutes relax, the poor girl behind me bent over and got a nice toot right in the face. I jumped up real quick and spun around to see what her reaction was...but she just pretended not to notice. And there was NO way in the world she could have missed that one. I mean, her face couldn't have been more than two feet from my rear. It was enough to make me laugh out loud...
 11:45 PM   •  4 opinonated pieces of What? 

• Man, I just read a story about how a woman was found in her apartment and was assumed dead. The paramedics arrived, and this is what happened:


The medical examiner's team arrived at 1:30 p.m., found police and two family members, and Wilson ``on her knees like she was praying,'' according to a source on the scene. When the body was removed from the bed, ``she sighed and she moaned,'' the source told the Post.

The supervisor from the medical examiner's office heard the noises and said, ``It's just aspirations. No big deal,'' the source was quoted as saying.


They got the body to the morgue where she sat in a cooler for a while until an examiner came by to officially pronounce her dead. That's when they felt a slight pulse. They put her on a cardiac monitor, but by then it was all over and she finally died. How sad is that for the family? They've got to be sooooo confused, not to mention pissed off. "No big deal"??? When I die I hope its a little more clear cut than that.


 3:20 PM   •  3 opinonated pieces of What? 

• These are some pick up lines I just heard. You may have heard them before, but they were new to me....


Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?


I haven’t taken my pills, but you work just like Viagra.


Are you Jamaican? ’Cause ja makin’ me crazy.


I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.


Damn! And I thought I was good looking!


You come on as strong as a garlic milkshake!


Wanna see some pictures of my kids?


You’re the best looking girl I’ve seen in a while.


And now for the best one I've EVER heard....


Hey, did you fart? Because you blew me away!

 2:35 PM   •  7 opinonated pieces of What? 

• My mom said "abolutely" last night. Hehehe...my mom. What a lady.
 2:42 PM   •  1 opinonated piece of What? 

• This is one of those "how does this happen to me" kind of stories.

On Saturday I was hanging around at work, just getting ready to leave, when my Mexican Girlfriend (who you may remember from past stories) came walking in to do some cardio. I haven't seen her in a few months now since I don't work graveyard shifts anymore, and it's rare that she ever gets to come in during the day time. I was excited to see her and since she's always asking me about working out, I offered to spend a complimentary hour with her the following day...since I was going to be there anyways.

Well, on Sunday she arrived at the gym and I was actually pretty impressed with myself because I managed to do most of the session in broken spanish...which is more than I could have done before the semester began. I wanted to challenge her in a way that I knew she'd never be without my help, so I had her perform single-legged sit downs. (For those of you not in the know -- those are when you stand on one leg and keeping a straight back, without leaning forward or using gravity, you lower yourself onto a bench in the seated position. Then, you raise yourself up to the standing position without your other leg ever touching the ground). She began on her left leg and did terrific. But her right leg wasn't quite as strong apparently and she couldn't do ANY. I was kinda surprised, but figured I wouldn't force her, considering the look in her eyes begged me not to. I proceeded to bring her over to another station where I had her do lunges using a physio ball. I'll spare you the details of this exercise, but this exercise can be quite challenging as well. The most important form of this movement is that your knee doesn't over extend your toe. Vanessa was having a real hard time adjusting her foot, so I knelt down beside her to help and I could feel this hard chin pad like thing on her leg. As I fully enclosed my grip on her leg I noticed this chin pad wrapped all the way around...and boy was it hard...and big too! I started poking and feeling all the way from her ankle to her knee and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what the heck she was wearing. I looked up with the most puzzled expression on my face and said "What do you have on your leg." And it wasn't quick enough that I saw the tears welling up in her eyes and she says in her cutest mexican accent "It's a prosthetic leg". My heart sank to the floor. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. I apologized more than I ever have in my life. I've known her for over a year now and had no idea. The tears were from fear I wouldn't want to ever speak to her again. But that would never happen. Although it was the most awkward moment of my life.
 3:16 PM   •  6 opinonated pieces of What? 

• You will, I hope, forgive my long absence from the blogging thing. The entire computer habit has sort of taken a blow since this semester started. I had a girlfriend, school was intense, and then there was work of course. Then, once hockey started up, everything else sort of moved down one spot on the priority list. So it is every fall. I can't promise that I'm going to be consistent from now on either, but I thought it'd be nice to throw out a couple words for you few that still show up here in hopes of finding something interesting...or not...being said. So, without anymore ado, here is my story.


I recieved a phone call from Tim yesterday because he had the craziest experience earlier in the day. A few days ago there was a bank robbery in his area, which he didn't know anything about at that point. Apparently the suspect in the crime looked quite similar to Tim, and in the picture he was wearing exactly what Tim had on yesterday. So, as Tim sat at the bus stop waiting for his ride, a cop car that was rolling by saw Tim and stopped. The cop jumped out of his car and drew his firearm on him, hollering for Tim to put his hands behind his head and that whole schpeal. So, they went through the whole back ground check thing and cleared him, but not before he missed his bus. So, the cop felt kinda bad that he made him miss his ride, so he told him to jump in and he'd catch him up to the bus..which was now on the freeway. The cop turned on the lights and siren, pulled the bus over on the freeway, and Tim got on. I thought that was a pretty amusing tale...and one that could only happen to Tim. Out of all the people I know, it could only be Tim.
 10:43 PM   •  5 opinonated pieces of What?