Hey all... just got back into town for a little bit. Gonna watch the big game! NAU @ U of A From the newspaper that I read it shouldn't be that bad of a game. So, I just thought I would come talk to you all and tell you about everything.

Nothin' much goin' on.

Well, that's about everything. The Dude got an email yesterday and I thought it was worth sharing with you all.

Hello,
If you are a Time Traveler from Dimension D1263GT10, year 2008 or Dimension D2044GT5, year 2432 AND OR in possession of the Dimensional Warp Generator wrist watch, the Carbon Copy Replica model #52 4350 series or similar technology I need your help. I need a RELIABLE SOURCE. I would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel. I will also need temporal displacement. Please send a (SEPARATE) email to me at: therewasan@emailaddress.here if this applies to you.

Kinda weird. Anyways, I am gonna take off... wish me luck... or something.

I added a little to the site, as you may have already noticed. Hopefully one day, it'll actually be a fancy page. Wouldn't that just seem s little more fitting?

"Can ya dig it?" I think I will use that as my new clicky thing. Oh shut up, I knew what I was talking about.

I realized that after all my friends left, I don't have many exciting stories left anymore.

It's hard having everyone gone. It really is. I haven't met anyone new yet. Nobody that is looking to gain a new friend anyway. I think of myself as an outgoing person who is friendly, but not *too* friendly... you know what I mean? I talk to people, but it seems as though they are like "Ok, well we've reached our one conversation limit, nice knowing you." Am I a creepy weird guy? My goal for years has to not be creepy-weird-guy. Ask any one that has hung out with me. The two guys I don't want to be:

Creepy-weird-guy
and
That guy.

So am I weird? Bizarre? Dammit, if they don't talk to me anymore, they are sure as hell missin' out on a lot of fun. Can ya dig it?

Hey. Well, in order to go visit my college buds, I have to get a new car. In order to get that, I have to sell my old one. In order to sell my beautiful 1971 Volvo 144, I have to fix the body damage, get new tires, get a new wiper system, get a new turn signal arm installed (instead of fixing the old one AGAIN) get a new exhaust, and then I should be good to go. By the time I get this car ready to go, I am gonna me sad to let it go.

Yeah, right.

I can't wait till I am getting my new car. Wonder what I should get. Any suggestions?

FancyLlama Owy... headache + running = SHIIIIT!
LlamaMinion: but I need boobs

Are you as confused as I am?

Salsa
Act I, Scene I

The Fancy Llama walks by mom, into the dimly lit kitchen.
Llama: (upon opening the fridge) Mom, do we have any salsa?
Mom: I don't think so. Why?
Llama: (mysteriously) Just in case...

I love the rain. Everything thing seems really clear. It's like when you clean a really dirty window really well. Why is that? Why does everything just look so perfect after it rains? Don't get me wrong, I love it! I'm just awed by how rad the rain is. Is it because the dust gets washed out of the air and off of everything?

What a beautiful thing.

I IMed a girl today whom I haven't talked to in around 2 years. This is how the 15 second conversation went.

Me: Gina?
Gina: yeah
Gina: i dont know
Gina: i meant what time are your classes
Gina: shit
Gina: sorry
Gina: i have to go eat dinner
Gina: bye

I thought it was weird, and very blog-worthy. I'm gonna go search for food again.

Really started school today. Yesterday I had only begun my jazz improv class. Right now, I'm wiating for my Philosophgy class to start. Seems like it could be interesting from what I have heard. Who knows. I'm writing this blog on paper because I need the venting that I would normally get from my temple but, alas, I am without the net connection I would need for that.

Do you think The Fancy Llama is a weird name?

Thinking about maybe becoming a teacher. It's something that really interests me, but I don't know for sure. Thought about Forensic Science, Music, Teaching, or something along the lines of law enforcement/tactics.

The people in this class are really quiet. I feel like breaking the ice before our pofessor gets here, but I doubt they'd be too receptive.

Does anybodyhave a suggestion for a pet? I have thought about it for a while, but I can't think of anything. I'd like something small. Like a duck, or a tiny monkey. A dog *would* be nice, but I want something less traditional. Any ideas?

And, uh... what have you heard about ducks and monkeys?
(originally written in a notebook at 6:09 PM while waiting for Philosophy to start)

"See, the way I see it, the problem with food is that it has no standard. Sure, we've got all the standard wrenches and standard measuring cups, and electrical standards, and height standards, and acceptable exhaust standards, and standard screwdrivers... but there is no standardized food. I think that the FDA needs to enforce a standard liquified food that meets all your standard percent daily values (dv) so that we're all eating right. However, if we were all cannibals, and ate in the right order, only one of us would need to eat right, and we'd all be set for life." - Black Knight

I have some weird friends.

I want everyone to know that my friend Jenny kicks ass. Write to her and tell her that she's "da bomb." Or, to get real old skool, tell her that she's "all that." And for ultra-old skewl, mention something about potato chips after that.

That's all I have for now, so that concludes this blog. What what beyotch.

Well. I just spent about half an hour pouring out my heart onto the screen, and felt much better. So, I deleted it all, and after venting it out into words this is what I came up with.

Dude, nobody wants to hear you complain.

So there you have it. =)

Well, now that school is starting up again, I'll have a more regular schedule to attend to, and I'll start posting in a more... shit. I don't know where I was going with that. Lemme tell ya something though. I am really loving the blogging scene. I really am. It makes me feel good to get on, check out what is going on in other people's lives, then talk about what's going on in mine. I remember how I started blogging like it was yesterday... (It wasn't yesterday though. Thought I would clear that up.)

I was looking for Herb Alpert and the Tiajuana Brass, so I did a search for it. Upon my clicking, I came across a site entitled:

Memoirs of a Samurai Barber

So I started reading these 18 x 4(that is, eighteen questions of four sets), administered by The Dane. The first question was what is your favorite band, and the guy responded with "Well, it’s a toss up between GWAR and Herb Albert and the Tiajuana Brass." So I am thinking "I don't know what's up with this wack-ass site, but I am not about to stick around and read it."

So as I was about nine tenths of the way through this 18 x 4, I was like "this guy has a great sense of humor. The asker and the askee." So I went to the actual site. Turns out this guy Johnny T is a real funny guy. So I kept coming back to his place and reading. Well, one day I said "I wanna comment, but I want to thinking of a catchy name... The Fancy Llama." Yeah. There's no story, no interesting background folk tale, no origin to the comicbook title. Just thought that The Fancy Llama sounded cool. So I stuck with it. And after a while I was like "Whoa. I have to go to 'The Dane's' site." So I went. I eventually made it to www.decablog.com and went around to the sites there. But one of those sites just said "Whoa, kick ass."

Have you NOTICED how many quotes I have used???? WOW. This story is straight from the Department of Repitition Department. Well, get over it.

"Whoa, kick ass." And that site was Jett's site. It was at the point when the llama wanted more than just reading.

The Fancy Llama wanted to publish.

I don't really know why I am writing about this. By this point I am SURE that you have gotten bored with it. In fact, if you are still read up to this point, I want you to post a comment and somewhere in it (very hushed...) say a word that would pop up somewhere in the old Batman shows. Like "wham" or "pow." Just to see how many of yall actually read this whole thing.

That's right Llaminions. It was time. So I went to blogspot and get a place to stay. It wasn't too bad. I looked around and realized that with a few coats of fresh paint, some new curtains, and some new carpet, this place could be a nice home for me. I mean, it'll have to do, it's all I've got. So, I started going, but I suck at the symbolic painting, carpeting and otherwise. I mean, yeah, I can write and tell you what's goin on in life and maybe have you laugh... but I don't remember how to make it look snazzy. So you get to deal with what you've got.

Well push came to shove, and I realized I needed a comment system. And badly. So I talked to The Dane, and he told me he was down. So, a little later good ol' Danester was rip-roarin' ready to go with that there new fangled comment contraption he done rigged up for a fella like me and I was like "shucks" ya know?

Well, I am tired, so here's the rest of the story. The Dane gave me comments, and I am really excited about it. That's about it. Eventually, I'll get around to renovating my site and make it much sweeter. The point in my mentioning the sites I went to is because I wanted to say:

Hey, Johnny, thanks for being funny enough for me to think about getting a blog of my own.

Hey, Seth, thanks for actually helping me make a worth while blog by giving me comments. The highlight of my day is when a reader liked or disliked what I wrote enough to tell me what hey thought about it.

And hey, Jett. Thanks so much for actually giving me the encouragement to get going. I was gonna just say screw it, I'm not gonna blog, but you made me smile and think that I had a bloggy buddy and I got all attached. So now I have a way to tell the world that I'm here, and they'd better damn well like it.

Hey, all my friends in college, miss you all. But you didn't just jack-squat to make any of this happen. Thanks a lot, you punks.

So it's gonna happen. Just to piss off the University of Arizona, Joe and I are going to fulfill my dream. Well... not so much a dream, but... well, read on, you'll see.

I have wanted to go down to the student union area one day and just SIT. Sit on a bench, with another dude, in scruffy clothes, with a bag of pretzels or chips, two pairs of binoculars. I would like to get there around 10:30 AM and not leave to about 4 PM. Just two scrubby lookin' guys with some snacks and binoculars, and be waaaaay to obvious about the fact that we are there SOLELY to stare at girls. Just to see the reaction to people. When a girl passes by, (no matter the proximity) point at her and say "Hey, check HER out" and both look at her through the binocs. Turning our heads from one direction to another, staring for about 20 seconds. She could be 5 feet in front of us, I would still say it loud and proud, and look through the binoculars. We've all seen these guys on movies. I just want to see how it turns out in the real world.

So I'm just chillin' for now. I've got nothin' to do. I'm gonna go to Jett's page and bitch about my t-shirt.

Haven't been on the net a lot lately. Kinda good, kinda bad. Good because that means my addiction grows weaker, but bad in that I am having withdrawals!! =) I'm really getting sick of living at home. It's getting harder and harder by the day. If Freddy were here we could get an apartment, but no no, he's in grand ol' Las Vegas. Eh. He'll be back.

I helped move Joe into his dorm. We both realized that he and I should have gotten an apartment together, but it's too late now. But it's all good; his room mate is pretty rad. It'll be some good times. I plan on just hangin' out at the U a lot... it's a way cool place. I just love the feel of being down there. And there's lot of hot girls to watch. (Hey, I can look.)

Jenny comes back down today and I am VERY excited about that!!! It'll be a good time.

I feel really bad for not having any adventures lately. I feel like "damn, I need something cool to happen" so I can blog about something worthful instead having a few meandering points that never seem to go anywhere. I just want to blog and have it be like "Hey, I am glad I read that llama's blog today!" Ya know? I don't know.

Dammit Jett, I want my shirt.

Peace in, my homies. What's going on with everyone? Joe and I are trying to get everyone to use "peace in" now, because everyone always says "peace out" but we want to switch it up. We some craaaazy mothers, eh?

Anyway, my allergies have been hell. My everything hurts right now, my nose is stuffed, and dammit, it's not making me happy. But it could be worse. I don't usually get allergies, so I am kinda thankful for that. But the northwest side of town FINALLY got some rain. And I am not talking about the sprinkles that we're used to round my part of town, but an all out downpour of intense rain. You could hardly see outside. Of course, Joe and I decided "Big rain storm that would be hard to see in and even harder to drive in? Let's go get something to eat." So we went to IHOP. No, not the close one, the one that we had to get on the freeway for. It was fairly rediculous driving on the freeway at 40 mph with no one else around us. But hey, that's the only way we could.

The IHOP experience was a good one, and it's a damn good thing, because after the last time, IHOP and I would have had some words had my meal been an unpleasant one.

So I haven't been living at home lately. I've been at Joe's grandma's house for about a week, living at Fred and Mo's for about 3 weeks before that. And when I was living at home, I slept on the couch because it was too hot in my room. So I haven't been in my own bed in about 2 months. Maybe even more, who knows. It's kind of weird, yet kind of cool. But this morning when I woke up I realized that DAMN... my back HURTS. So maybe I'll go home tonight. Maybe, but probably not.

Random: I wanna get some. Is that so bad?

Gonna go get some car parts today and then maybe I'll call that volvo guy, because I am SICK of working on my piece-o-shit car. I'll just say "Look, FIND everything that is wrong, and make it better. No, I don't CARE how much it costs, just FIX it." I am gonna seel it ASAP. Then when I get my new car I'll be making my rounds up to NAU and UNLV (and occasionally ASU, but not often.) Maybe sometime I'll take an actually road trip to somewhere I haven't been. Who knows. Peace out.

What're all my readers up to?

Ok, so things are starting to calm back down. I had to take my escape from reality for a few days, and I think I did just that for a bit. There's something that's kind of relaxing about playing a saxophone in the middle of the desert in the middle of the night. Anywho, I'm back, and a little less stressed. How are y'all?

Well... got a comment system... so hoping that you can tell me what you think now!

On a more unhappy note, I have had the two hardest days of my life so far back to back. Doesn't that just blow?

I feel so empty.

Well I must say that I am excited. The Dane tells me that he is almost done with a comment system for me. Isn't that the raddest?

Is there a past tense for rad? Is it raddest? Can something be radder? And is something is remotely similar to rad, is it raddish? Maybe that's how the vegetable got it's name. Maybe someone thought it was not quite rad, but almost.

Do you ever feel like you should just stop blogging?

Me either.

Today's blog is a sad one. I'm not used to this. I am used to coming on being the happy dude, trying to make others happy too. But every once in a while there are bumps in the road. Today's not a bump, but a mountain.

My world is falling apart. Not slowly. Not day by day. My addiction is being with my friends. And now it's all over. Cold turkey. No patch, no gum, just done. My life is moving.

A lot of friends are going to NAU, so they'll have other friends. A few are going to ASU. The Dude is moving to UNLV. I almost feel as though he's going to identify with my pain the most, however, at the same time, I feel like that's not true. I think of it as houses.

The Dude is going into a whole new world with no friends. It's like moving. He's going to have a new house. No spots where he's going to look and remember something, nothing holding him back to the old place. Granted, he has no furniture, but he's filling his house with NEW furniture. NEW experiences and memories. New friends.

But the llama... I am sitting in my home with no furniture either. But I have this same old house, ya know? It's like I am being robbed of what is mine. I still have to look in the corner of a room, and see that void. That spot where something, a part of me, used to be, and no longer is.

My world is moving on.

Without me.

I feel so empty. I feel as though nothing in my life is real right now. My happiness is gone.

But on the other hand, I know that this is all a good thing. My friends are going away to make something of themselves. They're going to fall in love, start building a life, and have a great time experiencing new things and places. I'm going to miss each and every person. You guys are all a part of me, and I love you all. Please, keep in touch. You all mean the world to me. You ARE my world. Good luck with everything.

Tonight, I cry. Not because you're moving on, but because I won't be able to be there for all of your things. I wish I could be there to lend you my shoulder to cry when you're sad, my ears when you need to vent, your buddy when you are happy... I wish I could be there for it all. But I know that we'll all talk, and that we'll meet again. So, I don't say goodbye here, but goodluck, and see you soon.
Chris Lambert

You know when there are times that you want everyone to know EXACTLY what happened to you, but just THINKING about the story makes you so furious it clouds your thoughts and don't know what to say? That's how pissed I am getting. To sum it up:

I hate Big Fat Security Guy.

Oh yeah... I looked for a comment system, and ended up downloading "Moveable Type." I have encountered a slight bit of problem though. No FTP to put 2-25 megs of stuff. God dammit.

What do you think of my putting up road-signs in my dude-cave? Mail me with your thoughts. I'm gonna have a multi-theme. My posters, road signs, and Coca-Cola shnap. Yeah. Shnap.

So I am getting a free t-shirt. Isn't that rad? I love getting free stuff, especially things like shirts. Apparently, I won a shirt somehow (I forget how) from the amazing Jett Grrrl, however, it was not then determined what the shirt would have on it. So we got some thinking going on and someone suggested something about getting back his monkey. I then complained about wanting a monkey instead of a shirt. Because, hey... free monkey. Ya know? But not the case. Jett (apparently) has no monkeys to be giving out to random people on the internet. So I got the next best thing. The shirt is going to say something about how I wanted a monkey but all I got was the shirt. It'll be funny when you see the shirt, I promise.

On a completely unrelated subject, bought a cd last night. I like it. You should go get it.

Oh yeah. Still working on a comment system. And I made a friend!! Jump in joy for me!! DO IT NOW. Or, go to her site.

CLICK IT!! GO GO GO!

I FOUND MY WALLET!!! HELL YEAH BITCHES!

So at The Dude's party, they had bratwursts. They were the bratbests if you ask me.

Anyhow, I was sleeping on The Dude's couch and he walks up to me with a brat sticking out of his pants. Yeah. You can figure out what I thought it was when I woke up. He's grunting, moaning, and worst of all, thrusting his hips. It was like a nightmare, only I was awake. ish.

What a sponch.

Hey hey hey!! I got a new email address/screen name. Start spreading the word.
Click here to mail me at FancyLlama@aol.com

Which cartoon character are you?? Find out @ blackhole

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
----- Charles Schultz-

Phat, eh?

Ok kids, so I got done dirty today. I came on to tell you about this story and aol must have thought I was a three-cent hooker, because they did me like one. I got about half through this story before they said "You know, this is just enough of this working business. Let's kick his ass off." The rage set in, but subsided as I proceeded to throw a large rock through a window at the AOL office downtown.

Ok, so I made up the rock thing. But I wanted to. Anyhow, brace yourself, this might be long.

So it's the night of senior prom, right, and I (the impulsive buyer) said "I think I need one of these CD's that has everyone's prom picture on it that I will receive in the mail in a few weeks even though I don't know (much less care about) 80% of these people," and I thought that it might make for a good run-on sentence later down the road, and that indeed it was or maybe even is. Got all that?

So a few weeks later, the CD came and I was like "I don't even want to look at this." So I placed atop my nightstand and let it collect dust.

Another few weeks passed and I said "I am really bored, lemme check out this CD." So I am looking at the pictures and mommy dearest says "Oh look at that! All the pictures from prom!!" My sister hears this and runs in to see everyone. Now, my sister is not an average little girl. She was struck by a falling eucalyptus tree in a terrible storm, and had part of her brain replaced by a camera and a small computer chip that stores images. At least, that's only my theory. She can remember ANY face, and ANY picture... she was standing a good 20 feet away and saw a thumbnailed picture of my friend and said "HEY!! THERE'S FREDDY AND HIS DATE!" I couldn't even tell and I was sitting AT the computer. This is relevant, I swear.

So Freddy talks to mommy dearest about this girl Emily. He talks about how hot she is, and on and on. So mommy dearest says she wants to see the picture of Miss Emily. Sister, looming in the shadows, sees the picture...

Weeks later even still, mom and sister are at the mall. Sister points at this girl in Pac-Sun and starts whispering really loud. So my mom says "Excuse me, what's your name?"

"Emily."

"Emily Hidinglastnameforsakeofprivacy?"

"Yeah, how do you know me?"

Now, of all the ways mom could have explained it, she chose this one:

"My son has pictures of you on his computer."

Not even "prom pictures." Just pictures. On his computer. She could have said internet, because that left open the possibility of a friends website or a prom school site... but no. He's that weird perverted nerd from every teen movie who takes pictures of the back of her head as she walks away and make hair dolls from strands left on her desk after english. I am now THAT guy. But at least she doesn't know WHO that guy is.

Yet.

"Oh.... do I know your son?"

"He went to school with you. Chris Lambert."

The world is crumbling!!! How she thought this was ok is beyond what my mind can fathom. I haven't got the time, gumption or the brain capacity to even BEGIN to wonder why she said that. You'd think maybe this was the end and Emily just thought "Oh, Chris, I know him, he's a good guy." But not from her response.

"Oh... yeah............. I, uh, know him..."

So I thought "Ok, next time I see her, I will explain."
***********************************************************************
Went to the movies with Jenny. At the end of the movie, Jenny says "Uh... Chris?"
So I look over to my left, where Jenny is sitting and look in the direction she is looking.

This massive dude is standing there. As he shifts his body weight, I see his girlfriend holding his arm. You're all intelligent, so I don't even have to tell you who the girl is.

So I look the other way, hiding my face from Emily, Mr. Huge and a possible visit to the ICU. They walk in front of me, then stop. I almost started crying, but said to myself "Dude, time to be a man." So I sat and got ready to take what came next.

They laughed. They were not looking at me, but the clips that play during the credits. So I kept quite and they left. Yeah, it isn't a good ending to a story, I know. No conclusion, it just kind of ends... but don't worry. I'm SURE there is more.

"Now that I'm older, I realize that if you want to portray life, sex is a huge part of life."
— Natalie Portman

That's right, good old Natalie Portman said that!! I bet you'd be interested in the OTHER thing she said!! Yeah, it's MUY intresante... go here to read about it. Do iiiiiit!

Ok, back and much more refreshed. I think that sometimes I just might be a little too blunt. Is that a good thing or a bad thing. I guess that it could really go either way, huh? Well, regardless, this is who I am. It seems to me that I have a different perception of life than most others have. Maybe this is true, or maybe I am just desperately trying to find a way to set myself apart from everyone else. Maybe I am having some kind of encounter with self-existentialism. Hmm. Well, I'm done with this topic.

I like my friends alot. I want you all to know that. Not many of you are reading this, but I really feel the need to say YO... you guys are great. Whomever does read this, know that I think your cool.

I've never flown in my life. Does anyone find that weird?

I am sitting at Fred's house right now, and really don't have much to do. Wait, yes, yes I do. I have to go drop one. I'll be back soon.

BTW... got all the computer stuff working on both computers. Be excited.

Here is the result of my 500 Point Nerdity Purity Test.
I answered "yes" to 186 of 500 questions, making me 62.8% nerd pure (37.2% nerd corrupt); that is, I am 62.8% pure in the nerd domain (I have 37.2% nerd in me).
According to the scoring guide, my nerd experience level is: Closet nerd
My Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 31%, based on a comparison of my test results with 6628 other submissions for this test.
The average purity for this test is 62.1%.

I forgot the link. Bite me.

So I tried to hook up another cd drive to my computer... but I ran into a lot of problems. I'm gonna need some things. That's pretty much all I've got.

In other news, I am still working on getting another site going. Check out this site or this site to get an idea of what it will be like when I get done... in theory. Much love to y'all, and HEY! If you visit this site and would like to know when things start happening, or just want to let me have your address, let me know! Mail me here and say "Hey Chris dude, I think you're swell. Put me in your address book." It'll happen. Because I love you all. Except for that guy. What a sponch.

Well, it's been a while since I have been here. A lot is going on, whether you like to believe me or not. The choice is yours, I hope you make the right one. I've been not-so-addicted to the internet lately, so I haven't been blogging much. Rather, I haven't been blogging at ALL in the past two weeks. But I'm here again. I plan on getting a better site design as soon as possible. I hope to make it more similar to another site, that actually inspired me to blog. So it'll get better people. Just calm down.

On a brighter note, I was listening to the Warsaw Poland Bros. last night, and Felix the Cat is stuck in my head. Not the actual cat, just the song about said cat.