Okay readers, get ready. This is the dumbest experience in my memory. Get ready for the tale of...

The Red Shirt Clan

It was a nice Saturday afternoon. The weather was nice out, perfect day for being outside and just having a great time. Maybe for beer and sausages, if you that's your thing. And if it isn't, write to me for directions so I can slap you in the face. (That one was for you Jett.)

So Bling and I were like "Dude... look at all those people over there in the park!" So as we're walking by, we see a keg, and they're grillin'. Etc, etc. They're just chillin' and all, but we noticed a weirdness.

"Bling, look at those people. Why the hell are they all wearing red shirts?"
"I don't know. That's kinda weird. How much would you give me to just walk over there and get a cup and get some beer from that keg?"
"Dude, screw you. You already want to do that, I'm not gonna pay you."
"Tru dat playa."

So as the minutes go by, we rack our brains. Why are they wearing red shirts??? ALL OF THEM!

Then I make a realization... Bling's wearing his red shirt that he got before a football game one day.

"Dude, go walk over there, you'll fit in!! Just start talking to people and see what happens."

So then we realize this clan is also wearing blue shorts. Weird. Red t-shirts, blue shorts. What does it mean? WHOA!! BLING IS WEARING A RED SHIRT AND BLUE SHORTS!! Crazy!!!

Well, we just couldn't figure it out. So we left to go to the football game. The U of A football game. U of A's colors are red and blue.

"So why in the hell were they wearing red and blue???"
"Don't know playa. Just don't know.

Hours later, it hits me.

"DUDE, BLING. We're so stupid. STUFUCKINPID!"
"What??"
"Why are you wearing red and blue?"
"The game."
"........"
"Oh... dude we're STUPID."

So, dudes. We're possibly the most unintelligent beings ever. Maybe not unintelligent, but VERY thick-headed.

In other news...
I finally got a car. It's about time, eh? 1990 Honda Accord EX fully loaded. What now bitches? What now?

I have heartburn. Way bad.

The Story of the White Line Surfer

So a few friends and I were walking around one night, after a couple of drinks. Well, we're walking along and she's trying to tell us that she's not drunk. And we're like shut up, you so are! And so we take turns walking in straight lines in the parking lot. Well, when it was her turn, she starts walking, and starts fumbling around a little. So she says "I feel like I'm surfing!!! HAHAHA!" and so she decided that was an awesome phrase for saying you are a little tipsy. "Surfing the white line." and thus, came her name.

Ok, it wasn't nearly as cool as I was hoping for it to be.

If you get drunk, come talk to me. Phrases like "locve ytiouc cheriws" really make me amused.

That's right, that was a DIRECT quote from a friend of mine about 5 minutes ago. Word for word Letter for letter out of an instand message, people. Interestingly enough, that one came from a girl who goes around here by the name of "white line surfer."

coming soon...
The Story of the White Line Surfer

Tonight is one of those nights where I listen to music and just close my eyes, and go "yeah..." You know what I mean, I know it. I have to say that I also think this is a cool lyric:

"If I had a shotgun, you know what I'd do?
Well I'd point that shit straight at the sky
and shoot heaven on down for you."
-Brad Nowell-

I'm listening to Tenacious D right now, but I think I am going to go listen to the stylings of Sublime. Goodnight my friends, and thanks for always being here when I fall; I can always depend on you to give me a hand and get back up.

And as one would expect, the letter was depressing too. And while I was writing back in the letter, I got a hard-to-deal-with-situation phone call. That wasn't fun either. Life just picks you up to drop you. I think that's what it's all about. Goodnight.

My new advice to you all:

When life seems like it's finally going right, and everything is falling in place, this is when you should start worrying. The world is putting on a facade, and hard times are around the corner.

Why is it that everytime the world starts working like you want it to and life is happy and you start understanding everything in your personal little world, everything changes and crashes down on you? I just don't understand it. I have been so happy the past few days, because I have been turning my life in the direction I want it to, instead of letting it go the proverbial drain. And now, everything that I can imagine COULD go wrong DOES. And then a few things I couldn't even imagine pop in there, just to make things a little harder because I wasn't expecting them.

"I am trying like hell not to host a pity party for myself."
Jett Superior

I am really trying. But sometimes, I just have to vent. And tonight is the worst, because I can't even talk about what's going on. But Reel Big Fish sum it up in two words: "Everything Sucks."

"This is how change happens. It happens in the dark, in spurts, to a person who doesn’t want it to happen."
Michael Barrish

And it happens in one swift slap. Although the cop pulling me over was the LEAST stressful, it really didn't help matters much. And I am sure that's not the end of it.

Well, I have a e-letter... for some reason, I am dreading it so much. It could just be a normal letter, or really good, or really sad. Wheel of morality, turn turn turn. Tell me the lesson that I should learn.

Hey.

Ok, Jett made me realize that the apprentice thing was no good.

I have all kinds of thoughts, but I haven't got the gumption to express them at this particular moment.

I wish I had an apprentice. That would be marvelous. Imagine the things I could get done. Wow.

Well well well my friends. I am sitting (not on a cornflake, nor am I waiting for the van to come.) in my old high school. Came back to talk to my old band director (am I a loser or WHAT?) and did that. So now I am just waiting for lunch to start, because I am going to see a few people and say "HEY HEY HEY!" so people will stop leaving me nasty messages telling me how bad I am for not calling or seeing them. However, I fear that the negative inverse could also happen. Would if more people end up remembering to call me? That would be horrible!

But most of all, I am waiting to see a few select people. Donnie, Mike, Ben, Katie. And I don't even know if I will get to see them! I am just hoping I will. I should see Katie for sure, but who knows. It would be WAY cool to see Mike and Donnie, but I don't know. And Ben I just saw not to long ago. Well, senseless rambling about people you don't know isn't your favorite? Fine!

So in case any of y'all were wondering, I SO do not miss high school. Just walking around was weird and annoying. I never realized how much it sucks here. Ok, that's a lie, I always hated it. Even typing here is annoying. The rats... I HATE rats... they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me up in a round rubber room... I layed there for hours, then the rats came. Rats??? I HATE rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once...

I like to think that I am a calm person. I like to think that don't often get mad. Those of you who know me, is this a fact? Let me know. Comment, please.

But tonight... I can't even EXPLAIN the hurt and the anger.

Remember the movie "Ghost"? On the subway, a ghost is touching things and teaches our protagonists how to touch things in the living world. He says you have to have every emotion and it has to be concentrated right? Something to this effect.

If I were dead, I could touch ANYTHING right now. I am seriously feeling every emotion I could possibly feel. I am full of anger, depression, happiness, love, excitement, disapointment, etc. You name it, I'm most assuredly feeling it. I can't even BEGIN to explain how it feels to those of you who haven't felt it. Those of you who have, would you agree with me that it SUCKS? I am NOT content with this feeling.s

I'm very proud of myself for not using obscenities in that, as I filled the most with anger right now.

I'm sad to report that as of yesterday, the U of A Wildcats are no longer an undefeated team. Wisconsin (ranked 22) gave us (ranked 52) a slap in the face. 31-10 Final. I am kinda scared of what Oregon (ranked 2) is going to do to us. I think we're gonna lose a couple of teeth on this one.

Alright. So, I rarely advocate watching television regularly, especially enough to actually watch a program intentionally, instead of mindlessly stumbling across it for lack of better things to do.

But I have been struck with an obsession.

The Sopranos is sooo mothafuckin' outrageously AWESOME. (Sorry for the posting of my crude language, I typically avoid it... but I felt it really accentuated my point.) I am addicted to this show! I don't have HBO myself, but the episodes are out on dee-vee-dee (that was in the style of Jett) and they are out for the renting. I thought "Eh, lemme watch one episode and see what everyone is ranting and raving about.

Whoa.

It's seriously (in my opinion) that good. (Have you noticed the excessive use of parentheses in today's blog?) I recommend, definately.
This weekend sucked, but rocked, all at the same time. It sucked because I realized my friendship with someone is dwindling, and that made me really really sad, but it was also kind of a good weekend in that I saw one of my best buds. (The Dude) I hadn't seen him in a while, as he's going to school out of state. But it looks like he'll be moving back here next year, so I am going to try to get him to move in with me and Bling Bling. That'd be cool.

This cat shows up in our yard, and looks around, then leaves. This happened a few days, so we're like "Here, have some food and water." Needless to say, the cat lives in our front yard now and just chills. It's a really cool cat; and I'm a dog guy. Funny how that works.

Everybody, I just want you to be aware of something if you aren't already.

Jett Superior is definately the chillest homie around.

That's right. And if you have a problem with it, let's go. (Not like to a destination. I mean let's fight. Yeah what.)

Oingo Boingo.

I knew what this was a while ago, but it just popped in my head right now, and I have NO idea what it means. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Last night was one chock-full of badness. Due to the badness/madness, I went outside to think, which brought sadness. I made lots of realizations about things. I was kinda depressing.

Anywho... For the time being, The Riddle is still open. Check comments from "The Vote" for a hint that is really really important to the answer. Ellen, you seem to know what it is. Do you?

Well kids, I am gonna go grab me some grub. But I'd like to leave you with a little touch of buddhism to ponder.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”
-Buddha

"I hate english. *pause* Especially when it's in spanish."

quoted from Bling Bling

Well... I posted a few days ago, and it JUST NOW POSTED. I thought that was interesting.
*ANYWAY*
Everybody keep Jett in your thoughts/prayers. You know how sometimes life just attacks you from all sides? She's going through a rougher spot right now, and she really is one of those people that DOES NOT deserve it.

The riddle.

Well, I must say I didn't think the riddle would gain this much popularity. What to do... you all seem kinda stumped as to what the answer is. Johnny, I promise I am not changing the answer anymore at all.

SO... that brings us to...

THE VOTE.

Vote by posting a comment.
Give up? Do you want me to tell you the answer?

Anyway, I'm going to read all y'all's sites, so talk to you later.

Hey... where did Jett disapear to? I miss her.

Dear Jett,
Where are you? We all miss you and are awaiting news on Scout. And we want to hear what's going on in your life. Camp is ok, but this guy named Seth keeps telling me crazy stories. He's scary, but he's a nice guy because he's gonna write me an 18X4 and give me some webspace when I need it. Met another boy named Johnny. He's really neat. And he's nice to cute little animals like turtles and grandpas. Well, I better go, I hope to hear from you soon.
-Llama

THE RIDDLE CONTINUES!

A rope broke, a bell rang, a man died. What happened?
You can ask me any yes or no questions you want. So far you know that...

There is no dog involved
No gypsies are involved
A guy was not in the bell tower when the rope broke, the bell rang and he fell to his death.
The rope was not directly connected to the bell.
The breaking of the rope DID have something to do with the man's death.
The ringing of the bell DID have something to do with the man's death.
The matter of an electrical storm is irrelevant.
The Dane's crazy story is wack.
The man was not directly killed by the bell.
The man did NOT kill the bell.
The bell waited upon nobody.
The Valkeries are NOT part of the solution at ALL.
The Dane sometimes does NOT make sense to me.
There IS falling involved.
We have multiple personalities.
I am dead.
The Dane's story was he-Larry-us.
Not a copper bell.
No pully.
Size doesn't matter. (When you are talking about the bell.)
THE LENGTH OF THE ROPE MATTERS!!
Joe will be banned from the site if he keeps asking sexually related questions of no relevance.
The man was not Quasimoto.
The Dane still is NOT over his wack idea.

Ok, there you have it. Continue!

Hey, I've noticed a lack of things to blog about. Not only in my life, but others lives as well. What's going on? Give me blog or give me death!! NO NO! JUST KIDDING!

A riddle:
A rope broke, a bell rang, a man died. What happened?
Yes or no questions only. Ready........... go.

Whoa. That's it for now kids: Whoa.

Hey, going to the Unwritten Law concert. I sense a story for the blogging...

Last year some friends and I were like "whoa, let's go swimming" but nobody had a pool and it was late night. So we would go to apartment pools. That was cool.

So one night, Bling Bling and I were jumping in the pool, and I thought "whoa... I want to jump OVER something into the pool." So I grabbed a one of those flimsy cheap white plastic chairs and put it on the pools edge.

I dove over it, and cleared it no problem. So I added a chair, cleared it, and added a chair. I kept this cycle up, and around 5 chairs I started trying to do cool jumps over it. But that wasn't that cool. So I stacked more.

Well, around 9 chairs I was getting tired, and I was just BARELY clearing the chairs. So Bling Bling says "dude, add another chair." Well, Bling Bling is the MASTER of getting people to cave in due to repitition.

Bling: "Dude, add another chair."
Me: "Nah, this is enough."
Bling: "Dude, add another chair."
Me: "Dude, if I add another chair I'll biff it."
Bling: "Dude, add another chair."
Me: "No dude."
Bling: "Dude, add another chair."
Me: "Nah dude, I am not adding another chair."
Bling: "Dude, add another chair."
Me: "Alright."

So I did. I saw mid-run that I wasn't gonna make it... so I slowed down, trying to stop. Well, if you have ever tried slowing down from a run on a wet pool deck in a short distance, you know that's about as effective as a tube sock. (You either got that or you didn't. If you didn't, don't try.) So I realized "oh damn, not gonna stop" so I ran again, but no time was left... so I jumped.

The serious of sounds went something like this:
"SHIT!" ::grunt:: *crack* *SPLOOSH* *splash*

Then, as I arose out of the water, Bling Bling pointed at my head and was like "DUDE, YOU ARE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE."

Ok, not really, but that's what you wanted to hear.

The end of the story really sucks though. I pulled out the stack of chairs (and picked up the pieces of broken chair from the bottom of the pool) and we went home.

Jeez, my stories are about as a great as a coffee worker's.

I just read an article about some Nicaraguan coffee plantation, and a phrase I found strikingly odd popped up.
"12 unemployed coffee workers"

Whoa... maybe my definition of unemployed is a little skewed. I was under the impression that if you're unemployed, your ass doesn't HAVE any work. Are things different in Nicaragua? I just don't understand.

Things are weird tonight. I have a feeling things are gonna get better. =)

Goodnight all.

Well ladies and Gentlemen... I am gonna take a few steps toward a better site design. Wish me luck, eh?

Now... gots to go ask a friend for a big favor: webspace.

I can design my own site, so long as I have somewhere to put it. I know where I am going to go, but let's just hope that I can come back with good news. A few of you already know where I am going. A few of you don't. But all I know is, when you get on that train to Chicago, I... uh... *ahem*

Anywho, things are gonna start happening. Ready... set... going at it.

Whoa... just saw this and thought it was cool, so I am trying it out. Eh?

Pet Elections

-->Jimmy E. Turtle (get it?)
-->Fido the Frog
-->Splinter the Rat
-->New Candidate

The polls are open!

Howdy.

"You can't change the past. The past changes you."

The coolest guy said this the other day. Then he questioned himself on whether someone famous said it, or if he made it up himself. So, I want EVERYONE to send your vote in. Just send it as a comment.

Go send your vote in right now.

No seriously, now.

In other news, I am on the phone with Jenny right now. So I will continue to blog later. Peace out.

Whoa, what's goin on?

I have been kinda in a weird mood. I was really hyper last night, and today I am just kinda like "wow, I want so much out of life..." but it's just blah. You know? I don't know. Somebody tell me what I am thinking.

Hey, what if I decided to get something really super tiny. Like a smaller lizard than an iguana. (idea courtesy of Jane) What is smaller than an iguana? JUST HELP ME OUT.

I am playing with a bot right now. AIM NAME= SwimFan4U You know, like from the movie. I'll transcribe it here later. Anyways, I'm going.

Whoa. I can't even begin to explain what a weird night it was. It's just not EVEN something that happens in real life. There was a dude who got punched in the face in the parking lot of a shopping center... that was weird. Then a bunch of dudes... Seeing this guy James again was the weirdest thing ever. Then there was this dude, Blake. What a cool guy. He KNOWS his martial arts, and he knows like natural healing stuff that is way cool. Then Uri... whoa. But he was definately cool. Anyways, with all the weird shit that went on, I will have to just leave it at this summary for now. Maybe I will elaborate tomorrow, but maybe not.

I think that I am going to watch a movie with Holly tomorrow... or today, technically. It's 3:15 am. Hey, it's late. Goodnight muchachos. Johnny T, I don't know if any of this mattered to you, but I know I can count on you to say something way cool about it.

(PS: I got a cool pet head. His name is Captain Johnny the wooden head. Only, his head is made of hollow ceramic, not wood. I'll explain tomorrow. I performed massive reconstructive surgery on him tonight, so I am drained. Later.)

Mail me. Just do it.

What's up readers? Just sitting here in Joe's dorm room, watching the rain. Today's a pretty good day, I suppose. Jenny should be getting here in about an hour and a half. She's funny.

Jenny: What are you doing this weekend?
Me: Don't know. You?
Jenny: I don't know... I'll probably be bored.
Me: Come to Tucson.
Jenny: Nah, too much of a drive.
Me: Come to Tucson.
Jenny: Nah, too much money.
Me: Come to Tucson.
Jenny: Nah, I'll hang out with my friends.
Me: Come to Tucson.
Jenny: Alright, I'll go pack my bags.
Me: Sweet.

So, Jenny should be getting here sometime between an hour from now to two hours from now. Who knows.

On a more animal-related note, I don't know what to do about a pet. I really want one, but I can't decide what to do. A dog just isn't feasible right now, and an iguana is a lot of time/money/effort that I don't have. A llama is out of the question, so don't bother. I am thinking about stealing two cats from my parents. Wonder what they would think. I know that they would notice; they only have two cats.

So what is everyone doing this weekend?

I stink. I am trying to decide between a shower or sleep. I think sleep is gonna win temporarily. Goodnight posse.

So recently I posted something. Like yesterday. But it didn't ever show up. What's up with that?

About the favorite reader thing... you all could be attempting to gain a spot. But for now... Johnny T is takin' the cake.

Never ever feed an iguana spinach. Just don't do it. And even more importantly, never pick up an iguana by its tail.

Yeah, as if I didn't know this. It was in the care section for iguanas. How dumb are people?? Well, if they have to say it, there's a reason for it I guess...

Johnny T. is currently the Llama's favorite reader. He responds to things. Unlike you ungrateful ingrates. Greaty great. Greaty McGreaterton. I'm going away before I hurt myself.

Hey... decided to stay the night, after U of A whooped NAU. What up kiddies in Flagstaff? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Anyways, probably gonna just chill with Joe and Jenny tonight and then leave in the morning.

Remember when I had cool things to say? I have a feeling that day will be revived fairly soon. My life feels like its about to go on a ride again. You know what I mean? I just have a feeling. Anyways, gonna take off...

Johnny T suggested I get an iguana... what do you guys think? I am really thinking heavily about it. Hmm. Peace out.