I wish I had something really cool to say about the New Year arriving. But instead, I don't have anything to say.

(Hopefully I won't have any stories tomorrow about the dog.)

May your new year be a fantastic one everybody. Somebody should make a new years resolution to visit The Llama. Because hey, I've never had anybody come to visit me. I mean, sure, I have had people come in town to visit, but never to see ME. I don't mean that I want somebody to make the trip SOLELY to see me, but it'd be neat if somebody was passing through and wanted to see me.

I'll even give you a dollar. I promise.

I'm done 'till next year. Adios.

My foot hurts. I don't know why.

So last night, at midnight, The Dude says "Let's go to the casino." Now, he's been trying to get me to go, and I keep saying no, but last night I said "Fine. I'll go with you." This was because I had $1.75, so I figured it'd be over in about twenty minutes. How long can a dollar seventy five last??

So at so at 4 am we ran out of money and decided to go home. I learned how to play craps. Interesting game, and I worked my way up to 50 dollars on the quarter machine. Now, all logic would say to me "if a dollar seventy five can last that long, 15 dollars should REALLY do me well!" So we went back today with 15 dollars. We were there about two hours. HALF the time of the original. What's up with THAT?

In other news, I really wish I had somebody to kiss at midnight. I wish this for a few reasons. Because I want to kiss someone at midnight, and because I really feel like kissing today. But the only chance of that is if I get really really drunk and kiss the dog. And I don't plan on getting drunk.

Nor do I plan on kissing the dog.

"you never know what will happen in life, best to take your chance when given it"

I had one of those nights tonight where I felt empty and alone. You all know what I am talking about, I would imagine. If you don't, then please tell me your secret. But I talked to someone about it and she really made it make a lot of sense.

Interestingly enough, some of the coolest people that I know, I don't even know. Johhny, Jett, Seth, Melly, Melly, Angel, Chuck, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera... I don't know any of you, but you are some of the greatest folk I know. Or... don't know... um... My brain hurts.

Anyway, I really wanted to thank Melly for the pep talk tonight. She really helped to remind me how bright the world really is, and helped me to get into my more positive side again. Go visit her blog and tell her how awesome she is. Go!

Marvel comics are better than any other comics around. This is not merely an opinion, it's a fact.

My parents are substitute worders. That's right, substitute worders. What do I mean? I'll tell you what I mean. Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Ok. The other day I went down there to see what was going on and I ran into whatsizzname and he told that the wutchamuhcallit is going on right after that thing next month.

That's the kind of things they say. I learned NOTHING from that. Well, maybe not. I learned that THEY are more informed about some event. But I personally am definately not more informed. Just more confused. I don't know where "down there" they ran into whoever "whatsizzname" is, and I don't know which "wutchamuhcallit" is happening after "that thing." But, I do know it's happening next month. According to whatsizzname, at least.

But maybe said whatsizzname is not a reliable fellow. I know not his credability. But I dare not ask what the hell my folks are talking about, because I apparently should know.
"Who's whatsizzname?"
"ERIC!"
"Who's Eric??"
"THIS GUY I MET AT WORK YESTERDAY!!!"

Well it's the day after Christmas, and here I sit eating room temperature lasagna. Best lasagna I have ever eaten. Lasagna itself is good, but this lasagna is extra fantastic. It's lasagna made from scratch. I just like saying the word lasagna as I type it, because it doesn't seem like it fits together.

FINALLY watched Mallrats. I dug it. I figured I would, as Kevin Smith is a genious.

I hate when you try to tell somebody something funny, and it takes about 20 seconds to tell it or re-enact it, and right there at the 18th second the decide they aren't going to pay attention anymore. Like maybe the walk out of the room and say "uh huh." My mom is notorious for this.

Lasagna.

Well, got a good case of the "pink eye." Not too big of a fan so far. Besides, I would much rather have a different color. Why not blue eye? That would be interesting, no? Any how... That's the news in my health, whether you like it or not.

But I hope you really DON'T like it. That would make me sad if you were like "Heh heh heh... llama got a 'bout of the ol' pink eye!! That bastard!" So don't think that.

If you can't think of anything else, I have formulated a few suggestions. You can use these as your own thoughts, if you wish.
-----------I think I'll send the llama some money.
-----------The llama is such an attractive individual.
-----------I'd like to make out with the llama, whilst giving him money. (This only applies to girls.) (Only.)

This sucks.

I got a DVD player/VCR, and a bunch of movies. But, we have company in town and they are using my room... so I can't watch any of it. I would watch it in the living room, but my dad is listening to his new CD's and trying to take a nap in there. So, I thought "I'll spend time with my family, because that's one of the best parts of Christmas." But, my dad is doing his thing, my sister is watching her new movies in her room, and my mom is spending time with her friend. So... I am at a loss of what to do. I can't really do anything with any friends because they're spending time with all their families. Hmph.

I also got a new poster. Yay for me! The collection grows! (This is not sarcastic, I really am excited!) Wasn't too surprised about it though... I bought it on eBay then my mom decided she wanted it to be a present so she paid for it and said I had to wait till today to get it.

IN OTHER GIFT NEWS: Amongst the videos that I recieved were about 4 Ninja Turtle cartoons!! I am psyched! I really want to watch those... but I'll have to wait.

Lots of pictures... but I have nowhere to upload them to. I WOULD put them on Decablog... but certain somebody has yet to tell me how to access it. ::nudge nudge Seth::

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
-Buddha

Today is mooshy movie day for me for some reason. I watched "The Wedding Planner" already. That was good. But not the mooshiest. I rented it and Tomb Raider.

Whaaaat? I couldn't find any other romantic comedies that I was interested in! Nothing like watching a hot babe blow stuff up.

"Ladies and gentleman: It feels so good to be back!"

Well what a week! I am sorry that you, my llama lovin' amigos, have been llama-blogless. I'vee been gone, and so I haven't had the opportunity to blog. But whoa, I have some things to tell you.

First of all (and most exciting), I took my very first flight. That's right kids! Before last week I had never stepped foot aboard an air-vehicle of any sort. But now... whoa. I have FLOWN. It's so weird for me to think about the fact that it finally happened. I was not connected to the world physically for more than 3 seconds... Crazy. Ok. I don't feel like talking about my trip anymore.

As the days go by, I sit here and go "AYE PAPI!" when I think about the fact that I STILL HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT WHAT TO GET MY DEAR MOM FOR CHRISTMAS. I think the delay has come even more this year because this year just don't feel like Christmas at ALL. Ya know? Does anybody agree? I mean come ON winter. I guess that's only true for us western folk though. Back east it getting pummeled, while we sit outside sipping on ice tea.

Dear Winter,

If you could be so kind as to hurry the hell up and get here, it would be greatly appreciated. I don't know if you have better things to do, but chillin' out in the front yard in my shorts and t-shirt isn't typically my idea of Christmas fun. So, Mr. Jack Frost, get your rear in gear and get over here. Thanks.

-The Llama

Stella Awards.
"The Stella's are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case
inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States. The
following are this year's candidates:

1.Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering
the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's
son.

2.A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his
hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't
notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3.Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of
the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because
the door connecting the house and garage locked when
he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi
he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune
of $500,000.

4.Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The
beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the
dog might have been just a little provoked at the time
by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.

5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.

6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued
the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when
she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv
Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski
purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On
his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway,
he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
the driver s seat to go into the back and make himself
a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in
the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.
The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the
basis of this suit, just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles."

I feel like I didn't do good enough when somebody doesn't comment on a blog. I know that it's not that, it's just that people had nothing to add. But still, I am always in that frame of mind that makes me believe people read the blog and were like "Huh." and leave.

Sigh.

For a kid, sticks are awesome. I think that in itself is awesome. But really, for little kids (especially boys) the greatest playset is a few boxes, sticks and a dog.

I think it's sad that we grow out of that stage. I mean yeah, it's kinda cool that--

Wow, a really beautiful girl just walked into the computer commons. I can't stop looking at her.

Ok, she's gone. So back to my point. I think it's really too bad that we have to grow out of the stage of being able to be amused so easily. There is nothing that I would not give up in order to go back to the days of having no worries other than what my mom is going to think about this mud and grass stain across the stomach of my brand new shirt. Back when it didn't matter if it was 107 degrees out, you don't think twice about riding your bike down to the wash to meet your friends for a good old game of capture the flag. I miss building forts, having mud fights, playing tag, and chasing girls. Not to get their phone number, but to show them your newly acquired (and unidentifiable) bug.

::sigh:: Remembering this kind of stuff really makes me smile about all the cool things I did when I was a shorty.

Kids: My idols.

So Johnny told me that I should do self reflective blogging. But I don't have a mirror. So I'm trying to see myself in the reflection of the computer screen. I can't see myself very well; just a silhouette. How do you spell that? I think I was close. Nobody has any idea where the bean field is, do they?

Hmm. I think this blog is over. Click.

There are so many reasons why I HATE having nothing to blog about. But the ones that bug me the most are as follow.

I feel like when I don't blog, I am disapointing people out there. I mean, I don't (by any means) believe that people leave my site depressed because I haven't given them more since the last time they wandered over here. But I feel like "Dammit, if I am going to have a blog, I better damn well be blogging." Ya know? I know. You should know too. Johnny, you feel me, right?

But the thing that REALLY gets me is that when I don't have anything to blog about, it makes ME sad. Because that shows that NOTHING is really going on in my life. At least I could report on some event that happened, or something that is going to happen, or complain or rejoice. But no, sometimes I have NOTHING to say. And it really makes me just want to "gouge out my eyes and cry for buttermilk." (As quoted by The good ol' Dane on December 6th at 11:40)

So I ask you this, my Llama lovin' amigos: Where's the bean field?

Hey, when I get my house, somebody better come visit me.

Anyway, I am going to go willingly wander the wondrous world wide web.

Wow. (Said in the style of Ben Stein in one of those craaaaaaaazy Clear Eyes commercials.)

Ok, so here's a question. What should I do for my new site? I have an intro page, but I just can't think of anything after that. Should I have something kinda bright and colorful, something calm and blue, something grey and formal seeming, or WHAT? I just can't figure it out.

I don't really want a whole lot of pictures, but I still want it to be a good lookin' site. Jeez. I just wish I could be hit with a brick of creativity.

Word of the day: onomatopoeia

The reason for this? Well mainly because onomatopoeias are as cool as ice. But also because I realized I really like saying words like that. I came to this conclusion because Melly had praised good ol' Johnny T with the word "swish." And I was like "WHOA, THAT'S AWESOME!" Thus, I am again going to try to start up my onomatopoeia style of talk. No longer will I say "Wow, that's cool." I'll just say "Swish." If something is right, I'll say "ding" whereas if something is wrong, I'll be calling out "buzz." No, I won't be MAKING the sounds. Just saying the word.

Well, I have to pee.

Found an apartment. Great deal.

It reminded me of a Hoover because it sucked that much.

Anyways, I wanted to say hi to everyone. How goes it?

Johnny T is my hero. What a dude! I think I am gonna name him my official hero. How do I go about doing that?

Uh... it's official. Johnny's my hero.

It has really become too much. I can't deal with it anymore. I have to move out of this house. There is too much unhappiness, negativity, yelling, blame, et cetera. I hate being at home so much that I go days without returning to my own place of residence. Not because I am having too much fun elsewhere, but because I don't want to be anywhere around my family.

I don't think that I am going to be able to finish my biology course. I have been blogging less because I have been working on it more, but I can only do so much work at a time. When I try to pocess all of the work at one time, NOTHING get retained. I got started way too late on this course. Procrastination is what will be the death of me as a student. Why? Because procrastination is like masturbation. In the end, you're only fucking yourself.

I really am trying though. I sit and study the facts, do the labs, study the facts more, then try to take the test. But because I am trying to learn it so fast I don't retain it at all. And the things I do retain I can't put down on paper for my tests because my mind is so clouded. I know there are people out there who say that ADD is something that is just made up, and in your head, and just an imaginary excuse. But I have news for those people who believe that. It's not just an excuse. I don't LIKE to admit it. I don't walk around saying "Pity me, I have attention deficit disorder." I pretty much keep it to myself, but it is SO FUCKING HARD to deal with it sometimes. I can't focus on one thing. Everything around me has my attention.

Common misconception about ADD: Those who have it can't pay attention to anything. *buzz* Wrong, but thanks for playing. We pay attention to EVERYTHING. That's what makes it so hard. I sit down to read, study, work, take a test, or whatever, and I can't concentrate on just one thing. I have a milliong thoughts running through my mind. A silent noise is constantly there. The tick of a clock, the bubbling of a fish tank, the whir of a fan and the hum of a light bulb ALL distract me. Silience distracts me. I can't focus. Ever.

The doctors tell me that I'll most likely grow out of it soon. Unfortunately, soon doesn't really count right now. School is so hard for me. I want to get a job and take a break for now, but I am worried. I am worried that I won't go back later. I am worried that I won't get accepted ever. I am worried that things won't work out. That I'll miss the train.

Maybe I should drop out? My mom thinks it would be the wise decision to work for the spring, taking little or no class. When I told her about my fear of not going back she said that she thinks I will go back because after 6 months of working full time for damn near NOTHING I will realize how important an education is. I DO realize how important it is. I Know that in order to be successful, I am going to need a college education so I can get a career and live comfortably and support my family. I realize that conciously, but it still hasn't really soaked in. I have known all of this for years. That's what you do. You go to school, get a job, be happy. But it just won't settle into my mind.

I still am convinced there is something else out there. Isn't there? Sometimes I wonder if I really should go into the military. But I don't think that's my scene either. I don't think I am cut out for that stuff. Maybe I'll go to the police academy after all? Maybe I'll take that break and work. I just don't know what to do, but right now school doesn't seem like the right thing for me. I feel like I am just doing it because that's what society tells me I am supposed to do. But everyone is different, right? Maybe I am wrong? Aye. I wish there was an oracle to tell me all.

*BIG sigh.*

Well, that's all I have got for right now. Gotta get back to doing some more work. But please... comment. I want some input.

Side note: Thinking about getting a Calvin and Hobbes tattoo. Survey says...?