I was petting my cat last night (shut up, you perv) and it was laying there being all sweet, like it tends to be. But then, quick as lightning, the head snapped around and BIT ME!

So, I slapped the cat in the head. The cat ran away and hid for about an hour and wouldn't come out for anything. I felt awful.

The end.

It's coming...

Be safe.

It's coming... and when it's here, you'd better watch out.

So it's looking more and more hopeful. That's right, yeh scuuurvy basstuhd. I'm gettin' me a place to reside in. One of my very own. Well, kinda.

What do you guys suggest I do in order to get me a good deal? Heh? He was charging 500 a month for 2 bedrooms, now it's 600 starting with me. I dunno... Anywho, any advice on things? Lemme know. This is directed more at you folk who have experience. Jett, Seth, Johnny, Angel, April, Mell, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Anything?

And boy, this was supposed to have a lot more substance to this post, but I got way distracted. Deal with it.

I used to camp a lot. I was in Boy Scouts, and we had at LEAST one campout a month, usually more. Because nobody liked cleaning, and everyone wanted to do different jobs, we had a chore list set up. We all rotated jobs per meal, per trip. It worked out well.

One night, we got up to our camping area a little late. It was Nick's turn to cook. While we were setting up tents and gathering wood and such, Nick was on his own with the cooking. Since it was a little later than usual, he had to use a flashlight to read the recipe for the meal. Apparently, Nick's double-a's needed badly to be replaced in that very dim mini-maglite he had equipped himself with. I remember it clearly. "Nick, do you need another flashlight?" "No, I can read it fine."

We learned three valuable lessons that night.

1) If it's dark and the cook looks like he is struggling with reading the recipe, get him another flashlight, no matter what he says.

Nick was kind of new, and wanted to be like us veterans, and wanted to do things to show us that he really could. We were cool with that, because he's a way nice guy and very cool. So we went on with our chores while he went on with his.

2) Nick doesn't cook a lot.

Dinner really took a lot longer than we expected though, I'll tell you that much. By the time we were all sitting on our sleeping bags in our fully erect tents with a stack of firewood by the firepit, we began to wonder what was taking so long. Finally, Nick announced that we should get our dishes ready for dinner. Hungry, we immediately grabbed our mess kits and ran full speed to the little stove and got our rations. We ravenously started shoveling the meal into our mouths, but all five of us learned the third lesson at the exact same moment.

3) No recipe... Not ONE... calls for a cup of salt.

I really think it's fun and interesting to check out my guestmap and see who has been here and from where. That is all.

So approximately 2 minutes after I arrived in my place of work, it was brought to my attention that "Oh... yeah, we don't need you today. Sorry." That would have been really nice about an hour and half earlier, when my alarm was buzzing and singing the tune of "No... it can't be time... I don't want to go to work today. Eh... it's my last day."

So I decided to go to school. Do a little self-paced work, ya know? So I got to the computer lab, showed my ID, and the guy got REALLY excited... "Whoa, CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT?? Your name is famous." He was a little too excited. Included with his little boyish smirking and giggling (that reminded me of Chris Farley out of Tommy Boy) he through in "This is awesome... you have the same name as a famous actor." I kinda laughed a bit... out of pity, I suppose... and then waited to get checked in.

"Oh... uh, yeah, you have to update your student ID."
"What?? I just got this last semester."
"Yeah, you have to get it updated every semester."

So I couldn't START my class, or drop the class that I needed to get rid of untill I updated this card. So I went to the information desk, where they supposedly do all of that. This is where they informed me that I hadn't yet paid my tuition. Luckily for me I had my kindess translator on, because what I thought was "BULLSHIT I DIDN'T! I paid by credit card about 3 weeks ago! You better check your f-in' screen again, beyotch." What came out was "There must be a mistake, I already paid. How can I take care of this?"

So I had to go wait in line because of their problems with organization, and argue that I have paid. As the lady was looking up my info, I started to think about how I was going to react this time. Would I make a bit of a fuss? Be calm and cool? Or would I get all Jack Nicholson on them?

Right as the decision to give them the Jack routine, she said "Okay, you are ready to go!" with a smile.

Sometimes, I just get too excited about what is about to happen, I suppose.

Then I got back to the ID guy again... He started giggling, scanned my card, and accompanied the pass back with "There can be only one. Tee hee hee!"

I loathe thee, Pima Community College High.

So today is my last day at work. New ownership, and that ownership isn't my parents. So for the next few weeks I am jobless. Which sucks as far as money goes, but is AWESOME as far as being lazy goes. Anyway, I don't want to be late on my last day. See ya.

People, why aren't you sick of silly love songs??

I think that I am in love. But not so much with a girl. Or a guy for that matter. But an idea. The idea of being IN love. I am in love with the idea of being in love. I want to find that somebody. Can't anybody...find me...somebody to...love. I mean, I know have plenty of time to find her, to grow up, to do what I need to do, but I just anticipate it so much. I want someone with whom I can totally connect to and sit with and talk for hours. I want that kind of companionship. I planned on having a lot of love song references in here, but I forgot all the songs I planned on using. Dagnabbit.

Episode II : Attacked due to Phone
So I am driving to work, and this lady (on a cell phone) decides that she hasn't got time to look for oncoming traffic. So as she pulls out into the road, I slam on my brakes, coming about 10 feet away from hitting her. Instead of continuing to go, she stops too, half in the road. So she decides "Hmm... maybe I'll wait." And thus, she backs up, out of the road. That's when it happened.

Enter Penske moving truck. And when I say enter, I mean enter my bumper. All of a sudden, the scenery around me is different. I'm about 75 feet further than I was half a second ago, and instead of being at a good 2 miles an hour, I am at a good 10 miles an hour, as I apply the break and stop. Immediately, I think to myself "Ok, THIS time they driver had BETTER have insurance." Second thing I think is "Wow..... my neck kinda hurts." So I get out of the car, just in time to see Ms. Cellphone driving away in a hurried manner. Penske driver got her license plate number.

So the cops show up, and we tell them about the lady, and give them the license plate number. "Sorry," they say, "she has nothing to do with this accident." Just me and Penske.

So, it turns out that I am gonna get my car repaired by the good folk at the insurance company. How sweet of them, eh? In any case, I have to go. I'm going to get my neck checked out and take some more pain killer.

"'Tis love which makes the elephant forget."
Today was so tiresome. It really makes me feel good though, because I feel accomplished.

You know? I just feel like "wow, to be THIS exhausted, I really must have done some STUFF today." And I really did. But now it's time to sleep. So adios my friendly llama-fans, untill the next time.

Don't be fooled by the blogs that I got, I'm still llama at blogspot.

I am going to be famous. Any suggestions on how I go about doing this?

Pistachio.

What's that smell?
You know how sometimes you drink something carbonated and your stomach fills up with gas but for some reason you just can't belch? I hate that. Then you try to suck a little air into your stomach to try to get a belch out and it STILL won't come out, and now your stomach is full of the gas PLUS a little bit of air? That's the worst, I have GOT to say.

Ya know?

Do me a favor. Or I'll kick your ass.

I have this friend. She's frowning today, as it is a truly frustrating day. Go to her blogsite and tell her she's the bee's knees.

Or the goat's scrote.

Nevermind, I'm gonna tell her that.

Hell, make up your own clever rhyme scheme, you line stealing bastards.

Llama out.

Guestbook. Errr.... Guest...map..?

Added a new link. Chickity check it out.

"Ooh ooh ooh!! Pick me pick me!!"

I want to be famous. Is there anything wrong with that?

Bonus: What character and show did today's title come from?

Kevin Smith, I adore you.

I apologize for my absense as of late. I have not been around a computer too much. So just settle down. Alright? I can't handle the pressure.

In other news, I started my diet on Monday. I have lost ten pounds so far. And I am starting to get used to what I can and can't eat. How about that? And I also conned persuaded two people to sponsor me for this weight loss. One dollar per pound. This is awesome.

"I think you're mistaken, you mischevious little imp!"

I just wanted to quote that. I laughed hard. It's in a comment by Courtney over at <name="Melly" type="clever" author="not-so-creative-right-now">'s blog.

Daddy daddy, look what can do!

So here's something kinda depressing. My dad likes my friends more than he likes me. If I tell him something, he says "Yeah, so?" But when my friends say the EXACT SAME THING, WORD FOR WORD, he gets really excited and into the conversation, and thinks they are so fantastic for bringing up such a delightful topic of conversation.

Granted, I really don't want to be one of my dad's official BSers crew, but I would like every once in a while not to be treated like an annoying gnat that needs to be swatted away.

Sitting in a room typing to people who aren't there.

So I have noticed that nobody is blogging anymore. It was a big thing that everyone was going to stop blogging untill the new year. But blogs seem few and far between right now. Except for The Dane. He's loyal to us.

Also, turns out that Jane would not sell her pinkie for five million dollars, but she might for $100,000,000. Depends on why they want to buy her pinkie.

Carpe dentum. (Seize the teeth.)

"I wonder what sleep would taste like if you could eat it." -Matt

Lately I have been sleeping in really late. Like 1 or 2 in the afternoon. And one day I even slept 'till 3:45. I really don't like sleeping in late. It wastes the day. Carpe diem, ya know?

I wonder how you say "sleep the day" in latin.

I am sad.
So sad that I almost feel like crying.
I don't cry. I have it in my head that crying is bad. Crying shows weakness.
Does it?
I feel like it does.
But in my mind, crying would feel so good right now.
I feel like crying because I am sad.
Really, really sad.
I don't know why. Nothing happened.
I just got real sad.
I am sad.

WILL BYNUM, ARE YOU CRAZY????

Ok, I'll admit it. I like Spongebob Squarepants. Ok?? You've beat it out of me!! I realized this while watching the cartoon (again) with my sister and thinking, "How can anybody LIKE this show???"

Followed about one minute later by "How can anybody NOT???"

All I am saying is that if you can't stand him, you've grown up too much.