Sometimes people don't think about what they say. They just talk, talk, talk. This boggles my mind. And what's funny about it is that sometimes people will MEAN to say something nice, but due to their lack of thinking what it will sound like, they often end up saying things that they really could go without saying.

Just think before you speak people.

(Yeah, this is coming from me. Ha.)

So, one day my uncle is sitting in his office or something, and some people from work say "Hey, what do you think about this candy?" And he was like "That candy is pretty fabulous. What are you calling it?" and they say to him "Hell if we know. Got any ideas?" And he's all "Hey, lemme get back to you on that."

So he sits there for a while and looks at the candy, and draws a little creature that looks like the candies. Then he names the little creature, and draws a few more. Then he calls the guys back into his office, or wherever he was.

"So," said the big bad businessmen, "what do you say?" "Take a look at this" he replied. "Wow, that's cool. Yeah, we'll use this. Thanks."

And thus, Nerds were named, and they had a mascot.

Most people don't believe me. But you do, right? I promise it's the truth.

Yeah, so I apologize for my site acting up lately. Sometimes it doesn't like my post, and so it puts it down on the bottom. Could be a "saving the best for last" kind of thing, or it could be a "wow, this post SUCKS... let's hide it at the bottom" kinda thing. We may never know.

But I'll tell you this much. I can't really do much to edit my page currently. The Dane is in control to the max, and I can't change anything. I can't even add to my links. That suck-diddly-ucks.

I'll tell you this much though. When I get back to taking care of business on my own, I'll be adding The Rambler to my list of They Who Pet the Llama.

I have no deep thought tonight, but lemme say this much: I've got nothin'.

Today's post (as mentioned in the title) is way long. I don't expect you to read the whole thing. I found this on the back of a menu to "Grill" in Tucson, AZ. (100 East Congress Street, 85701 520-623-7621) It really made me laugh, and thought you should be in on the laughter.

Welcome to Grill!

a few things you should know:

THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE This is our house. We like it; Grill is a nice place to go, and we are determined to keep it that way. We're fanatical about it, plum crazy. Please do not move our furniture around, stand on our chairs, mess with our lights, or plug your laptops into our outlets without discussing it with us first. We'll work with you. Just let us know what you need... well, we might work with you. You can't sleep here; there are all these motels and hotels nearby, and those nice bus stops we've got all over downtown, they're there for you. We're more than happy to help you out the door and point you in the right direction if that's what you need.

THE GOLDEN RULE This should be first, or have it's own page or something, but it isn't and it doesn't. We have so many people here, a ll the time, lots of different people that are nothing like us. We are really into that. We do not tolerate racism, sexism, ageism... there are so mand bad -isms that piss everyone off, but there are lots of good ones too. If you subscribe to a good -ism, that's great, and we support you in your efforts, but we will frown heavily upon preaching or proselytizing in our restaurant, or even right out front of it. Just treat everyone here with the respect we say they deserve.

PEAK HOURS Certain times of the day and night are busier than others, and at these times it's all we can do to keep the roof from falling on our heads. There could be a wait for tables, there might be a but of a wait for your good. We'll let you know what our situation is, and should that situation be that we are in dire need of tables, we might even ask you to give out yours if you've finished. That is such a remote possibility, but we want you to know that it exists. Don't be offended, it might be you waiting next time. And no, you cannot have a bigger table for all your crap. We are not a library.

EATING We go to extraordinary lengths to make great food. Great good takes time, so please be patient. We make everything fresh, our soups and sauces and dressing are prepared daily with fresh ingredients. Sometimes the market doesn't play nice and we run out of things. If we are out of what you want, take a chance on something else. Varietyis the spice of lif,e you know; cumin is a spice in chili.

BE GOOD This is so simple, kind of subset to the Golden Rule above. Do the right thing. Be polite, be patient, tip your server (consider the interdependency between tipping and service: if you were here one time and weren't nice to us, the service you reieve on subsequent visits may be proportionate to the degree and nature of past interactions.We've told the stagg the same, but in reverse). We reserve the right, etc., etc., We reserve so many rights. No panhandling, don't sit with pretty girls you don't know, don't drink the condiments... and no damn table-hopping. We mean it.

TIPPING (GRATUITY) Our staff is providing a service, we ask that you recognize that by tipping (see: BE GOOD, above), If you feel the service you received was good, but you fail to tip to show that, you might find 18% tacked onto your bill next time. You and your server are a team: your goal is to get you what you want. Communication is essential to this system: if there's something wrong, let us know and we'll fix it. If your food isn't acceptable, don't take it out on your server. Let them know what's wrong and give them the opportunity to set it right. They'll take it out on the kitchen, they'll go that extra mile for you to ensure your satisfaction.

TO GO FOOD All of our menu items are available in cute little tins and boxes and bags for you to take iwth you. There is no priority given to take out, so during peak business hours it could take longer than you expect. If you call in your order, the faster you pick it up the better it will be. If we tell you that it will be ready in 20 minutes, but you show up after 50, it's not our problem. For example, a medium-rare burger left sitting in it's container for half an hour will be well done when you pick it up. This is not our fault, it is yours and you will accept responsibility for it and you will smile and tell everyone about the transcendent joy we helped you achieve, and you will compensate us in kind (see: TIPPING, above).

SMOKINGWe allow smoking. We have both smoking and non-smoking sections... this restaurant was built upon triple pillars of caffeine, nicotine and meat, for Pete's sake. We do not, however, consider cloves, cigars, bidis, pipes or aromatic cigarettes to be viable smoking options. Don't get mad. Be a man, be a menchs and smoke a real cigarette like everyone else.

DRINKINGYou must be at least 21 and have a valid I.D. to order alcohol. If you are intoxicated, you will not be served, you drunk-ass idiot. Outside beverages are forbidden.

CHEESE TOTSThis doesn't make sense, but we're serious about this. We don't put cheese on potatoes. Not on your tots, nor your fries or mashed potatoes (knishes are a special exception, but don't ask us to explain why). The rule's been in place so long that no one remembers how it started. But tradition is tradition, and we are slaces to tradition. Well, we do adhere to that one thing.

TATER TOT OR FRENCH FRY IN NOSE MAY COMPLICATE BREATHING (and other food warnings) Frill serves eggs and meat any way you want, but if you order your meat rare or your eggs undercooked, you must recognize that you're taking a risk. You are hereby warned and we are obsolved of responsibility. Shellfish is also problematic. But you know that already. Be aware that any food may contain farmful bacteria, and the way to get rid of it is to cook it to at least 140 degrees Farenheit. And forks are dangerous. Don't put them in or near your eyes. Hot coffee can burn you. Chew your good before swallowing. don't talk with your mouth full. Don't talk to a big man's girlfriend. Don't eat off the floor. Put the lid down and lavese las manos. People on cell phones will be assiduosly ignored. Do it outside.

Just to put an end to any controversy out there...

I still rule.

Today is just one of those days. It teased me all day... little things going wrong that kinda brought me down... but then it gave me a grand finale. Slapped me in the face hard. Wanna see the hand print?

Just talked to my landlord. I was really worried she wasn't going to let me get a dog. But she was pretty excited when I asked her. She is happy that I am getting a dog.

I lucked out I think. My landlord is super nice. I was scared I was going to have one like those old ladies in the movies. You know the type.

Anyway, I can't wait to get my dog! Dogs are the greatest. What a fantastic companion a dog is. I don't know yet what I will name this fabled dog though. Steve? Thor? Prince Harold? I just can't decide. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl though...

Hmm.

Either way, Steve is still in the running. I have maintained over the years that I will have a dog named Steve, be it a boy or girl. I think I will stick with that. Steve Dog it is.

So in case anyone was wondering, my back hurts. It really makes me wonder. I dug for two and half hours on Monday night (the last half hour in the rain), and two hours yesterday morning. Then today I helped unload a truck with my back being sore, making it a little more sore.

(I want so badly to make a joke about a hooker so I can say I made the whore more sore, then about not paying the pimp again, so as to make the whore store more sore than before. But I won't, because that would be a little too hardcore, and too much of a chore.)

So what I wonder about is "should I really be sore, or am I just that much of a weakling that it made me sore?" Because normally I don't get sore. Whatever.

Point of the story is this. I have this friend. And I rub her back. I have no qualms with rubbing her back. But when I asked her to rub mine, there wasn't even a thought. Just a flat out "No." Dis. Isn't that messed up? Thanks a lot, stupid girl.

Girls are stupid.

But I still like her.

Speaking of girls, my sister is way sick. Not "way sick" like Geoff, but she has a high temperature and feel like crap. I feel bad for her, because she (like her brother) does NOT cry, especially in front of anyone. Not even family. But she was crying big tears tonight. Poor thing.

But it doesn't mean I don't think girls are stupid still.

So this one lady was a super (expletive deleted) at KlayMart the other day. She was saying "do this, do that, bag it this way" with a unkind attitude. Very rude, to me and another girl.

So everytime she wasn't looking, I would scan an item like 4 times, so at the end she got charged about twenty dollars more than she really should have.

Don't mess with me. I am the cashier, beyotch.

I'm not a violent person. I really am not. It's not even that I like to think I'm non-violent, but that's just how it is. But sometimes, I just want to go around being mean. Not because I am mad, but because I just feel like it sometimes.

I walk through a mall, imagining just pushing people walking by, or tripping ladies carrying bags of goods. Sometimes, I even think of punching people in the back of their head while I am waiting in line. I wouldn't ever do these things, but sometimes I just wonder "What would happen if..."

Ya know?

Ignore that "out of my league" comment. It's just a rumor.

Do you ever wish that you could discover an animal, that way you could name it whatever you wanted?

Then, if someone said to you "Ha, beat that!" in response to anything, you could say "You know the (insert name of discovered animal here)?" and they'd be like "Yeah." "I discovered them... and named them."

Boy, they'd really shut up then.

Sometimes, life takes great pride in having you be a part of it. Things just go well for you. It's times like those that make me a little nervous. Because usually when things go right for me for a while, it's just to set me up for a fall. Life, don't be such a jerk like that. I have a good heart, or so I like to think, and I do my best to remain optimistic. But, the past two days things started to get a little less fantastic.

Don't get me wrong, things are going well. But I've had a few things really bum me out in the past 24-30 hours. On a good note, this person whom I know that really disliked me has become my friend. That made me happy. And a few other people are becoming my friends. All from working at kmart! Yay for people thinking I am a nice, funny guy. I like having friends, and lately, they haven't been plenty because of everyone else going away for school. The Dude came back, but is leaving again next semester. Geoff returned, but on not-so-happy terms. So, I am really glad to be making new friends finally. Unfortunately, all of my friends are older and they go to places where I can't go yet. And that makes me a little uncool apparently. ::sigh:: Eventually I'll be old enough where I won't be too young to have friends.

And now for the spit-in-my-eye side.

Despite what some people will tell you, there are leagues. And some girls are just out of mine.

So I admit it, I am bad.

My friend Jane calls me up and says "Soooo... You're my emergency contact, is that ok?" Being the good friend that I am, I say yeah, sure, sounds cool. But... for what?

"Yeah, I might get arrested tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's cool... So, anything you want to tell me?"

Turns out, Jane and some friends were protesting at the local university. I supported them, because I believe in having an opinion and defending it. She and a few others were to be locking their necks to a pole with bike locks. They'd be stuck there for however long that lasted. I was like "Yeah, sounds good. Good luck with that."

Immediately, my evil mind started cranking away. How great would it be if I prostested... THE PROTEST?? (cue the dramatic music) I started thinking about making a picket sign saying something clever about the protesters wasting our time or something. Then, I would march in a circle around the pole they were locked to. I would chant "HEY HEY!! (clap clap) HO HO!! (clap clap) THESE PROTESTERS HAVE GOT TO GO!! HEY HEY!!..." et cetera. I would bring a megaphone too, and yell clever phrases.

I got really excited, but then realized I had to work.

The end.

Geoff is out of the hospital! He's home now, and I must say that I am very excited for him. What a fighter, eh? I knew he had it in him. I told him so! Anyway, thanks (again) for the prayer. He's doing so well.

In other news, my feet hurt. I think I might need some of those sole implants for my shoes. What do you think. Come on, just tell me. You bastard guy. Do those shoe things actually work?

Has anyone else noticed that my blogging has gone downhill? ::sigh::

And for our final story of the night...

I really like her a lot.

Way a lot.

If I did smiley faces on here, it would be placed here.

A big smile.

She's awesome.

So, I apparently touched several of my coworkers inappropriately. Not really several, but two of.

If a few people are joking around, and you see your friend being teased, don't ever put your hand on his back and say "Hey, settle down over here, I've got *name deleted*'s back here, alright?" Not because you sound threatening. But because you can't put your hand on his back whilst working.

Also, you know those times when someone teases you and you kind of tag them as you walk away, sarcastically spewing "you're mean" whilst you both laugh? Very unacceptable as well.

And lastly, if you are walking by someone and they are talking to someone facing away, don't poke their shoulder when you say hi. That's just a little over the top.

Doing these will result in your having a conference with management. I know that it's for good reasoing that they have these rules. But I hate being embarrassed. I don't get embarrassed easily, but when those times do come, I get WAY embarrassed. They scolded me at my register, in front of my other coworkers. That's what bothered me. If they had pulled me aside, or said something to me kind of quietly when nobody was paying attention, that'd be fine. But to announce they "we need to have a conference with" me loudly enough that everyone turns around and watches... It's really been a while since the room has felt so warm.

So, in case you are wondering, I'm not in a relationship. Nope.

I am, however, involved in a friendship. A friendship that involves a member that doesn't share my gender, but does share late nights with me watching tv or talking on the phone. We just hang out, watch (and make fun of) movies and tv, talk on the phone, kiss a little bit, and tease each other. I especially like watching tv with her late at night, because I enjoy having her lay in my arms.

But for the record, we're not in a relationship.

Moving on to todays post!!! I was distracted. I have been getting distracted a lot more lately. Like right now. MUST.... STOP.......... GETTING.... DISTRACTED........UNNNGHHHHHHH!!

Anyway, back at the ranch...

I work at a store that is going out of business. The Dude and I got jobs there together. For the sake of anonymity, I'll be referring to it as....

Klaymart.

So, I work at KlayMart. Just a temporary job in between jos to makes some cashola. Ya dig? I hope so.

So I started dating my supervisor. But not really. We just do all the things listed above. But we haven't gone on a date really, and haven't started a relationship supposedly.

So it makes me wonder... what exactly IS a relationship??? Discuss.

This statement is false.

Have you ever gotten onto blogger thinking "hmm... I'd like to talk about this unsolved mystery of life", but then you figure it out and realize everyone already knew that, so you think "Eh, I'll still blog about it," only to get logged in and find that you forgot what you were going to blog?

Had something to due with dating people from work.

Like your supervisor.

Or something. Just an example.

So I got online tonight, and it seemed as though the internet folk were waiting for me. Window, after window, after window.... after window pops up. Then another one. I couldn't handle the pressure, and started screaming at the top of my lungs. My neighbors came over to see what it was, but I was yelling so loud that I didn't hear them. They tried breaking down the door, but to no avail. The fire department, however, comes equipped for such an event. They were in the door in no time. They heard me screaming and saved me from what was now a burning building. When I awoke, I was laying in a hospital bed. It was a scary room, not like the ones I had seen whilst visiting friends. This one had weird charts, and an eerie feel to it. That's when the aliens came in. They started poking my face, and then tried to tickle me. But HA! I am not ticklish, the bastards. Unfortunately, that just pised them off. So they beamed me back down to Earth, where Captain Picard was waiting. He asked me if I wished to join the dark side of the force. I told him he was way off, and in the wrong movie. The director yelled cut, and said that wasn't my line. I asked for the script, and the title was "Fate of the Stars: Star Wars meets Star Trek". Kinda like the Jetsons and the Flintstones. I was like "Ok, this is a little much. You guys really are overdoing it. I was a fan till now." All of a sudden, someone starts screaming "UNNNNNNNNNHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH!!" I realized this was Chewbacca. He was battling Worf. This was the battle of a century, I knew, so I grabbed the camera. We put it on pay-per-view. George Lucas found out, and sued me for everything I am worth. After Mr. Lucas got my four dollars and and six cents, he started dancing like a ninny. I kicked him where it counts. That's when they told me go home, because I am a big jerk.

So, I thought I would blog about it.

Thanks for waiting for me.

Geoff's doing well. I am convinced he's going to be absolutely fine. Thank you very much for praying for my dear friend.

We found out last week that Geoff (who is nineteen) has cancer. So he's in the hospital getting chemotherapy for a while. So, when I am not at work, I'll be there. And while I am not there, I'll be going on a date tonight.

Boo-yah.

Also, when you guys say "default", do you pronounce it "DEfault" or "deFAULT"?

Emphasis is weird.