Sometimes I just want to be a superhero. For a variety of reasons. I want the superpowers. But that's not the only reason. I mean don't get me wrong, that's part of it. But not the whole thing. I think it would be very gratifying to be saving the world, one day at a time. And it would be really fun to laugh at all the people because they wouldn't see through my secret identity, because I had cleverly disguised myself with a pair of glasses and a suit.

I really don't know what the point to this want is though. All I know is I want the powers.Even if I couldn't fly, or have heat vision and icy breath. By all means, that would be great. But I would be okay with something lower scale. Like Spiderman's abilities. Plus, it would make for some fun stories to look back on. And I could make all the bad jokes in universe, but that would be ok because I would be a super hero, and that's part of the job.

::sigh:: Maybe I should get involved in some sort of freak accident.

So, I get home today, and I carry my things inside, stopping only to unlock the door. When I went to get the mail five minutes later, I noticed that my garbage was full and ready to be put on the curb. So I thought to myself "when does the garbage truck make it's next round?"

It was then that I realized that I don't have trash service. I looked at the lid, and realized "Oh that's right, I live in city limits now, trash service is free. That's awesome! But then I realized that some how my trash was full without my even knowing I had trash service. So I opened the lid, and there were branches, small and large, from various plants. You'd think that maybe my neighbor did some yard work. But I don't have a neighbor, just an empty house. "Huh," I muttered, "that's weird." And back inside I started walking.

I guess it didn't strike me as TOO terribly odd untill I got halfway through my yard, whereupon I noticed that my tree was gone.

Yeah. Gone. Ok, well not GONE gone, but pretty close. There is still a stump that sticks up about 15-20 inches out of the ground. But regardless, the essence of the tree was not there. That really weirded me out. So after a lot of thought went by, I continued to inspect my yard for any other stolen vegetation and maybe a clue as to why my tree is gone but my birkenstock sandals, my grill, lawnchairs and table still remain on my property.

I found that a few miscellaneous branches had been removed from random trees and bushes, and that some bushes on the side of my yard had been watered. But only few.... and my house had NOT been moved from the spot I had left it in yesterday afternoon. I then looked in the recycling bin. Beer cans. Milwaukee's Best. The kind that my landlord drinks. It's alllll becoming clear now.

Who the hell am I trying to kid?? No it's not!! Why would my landlord secretly water four bushes and remove a tree???? I mean, that's cool with me, but the SECRETS HAVE GOT TO STOP! I just think it's really really bizarre. And don't think that they left a note or called saying "Yeah, so we got rid of your tree." I have no idea why he did it. But know this... the tree is gone.

R.I.P. Tree

The picture shows the late tree, and if you look toward the bottom of the trunk you can see the teal line... that's where the stump comes up to. Now that I think about it it really comes up about 5 inches higher than that. But oh well. You get the idea, right?

I promise that I really want to be blogging daily as I had earlier done. It's really bugging me not to be here feeding you the words of the fanciest llama in all the land. But there is some good news!! (accompanied by bad) So be cheerful! (mostly)

Good news: Things at the house are fantastic. I'm really enjoying the freedom, and I am getting over being the only person there. At first it was very lonely, but now it's ok. So long as I don't turn into a hermit, I think I am ok. Old man Lambert really does have a good ring to it, but I think I will save that one for about 60 or 70 years down the road. Also, I am going to become the proud subscriber to cable internet rather soon. So don't you worry, I WILL come and love you appropriately. Just give me a little more time.

Bad news: I still won't have that internet access for another 2-6 weeks. Soooo, it might still be a while before I am back online. But I think you folks here in the wondrous wacky world wide web will be fine. So just simmer down.

In other news, I am going to have a housewarming party and you are ALL invited!! Reservations can be made in the comments area.

If you don't come, I'm going to cry.

Dearly beloved readership, we gather here today...

So, since I have moved into my new home, I don't have an internet connection.

Gasp, scream, guffaw, and rant all you want, but I can't do anything about it right now. I am working on it, I promise. But I thought I would inform you as to the reason my words haven't been all that visible as of late. But I promise you, children of the llama, that I will return in full force one day. For my days at the Mart of Klay are limited, seeing as how they doors will close one last time this Monday evening. Then, I will have more time, and thus less stress, and I will have more gumption to get on all these things that I need to take care of. (ie: internet connection, changing my mailing address, getting a garbage and recycling service, etc)

I'll try to blog every so often, but not promises. But don't hate me. It's not you, it's me. Really. We can still be friends, right?

"And so," she said, "I would like to inform you,
"your blogging has started to suck.
"And yes, we all know how your new job is going,
"but no, we just don't give a ___.
"So please, Mr. Llama, if you wouldn't mind,
"Would you just stop talking 'bout it,
"Start commenting here, and stop posting things
"about which we don't give a ___."

Fine.

So, I get this phone call at 10:18pm. And it's these two girls that are friends of mine, only a little younger. (Like 16, 17 maybe.)

"Hello?"
"Hey Chris!! We're stranded on the side of the road and our battery is dead."
"Why did you stop??"
"The car was overheating."
"Ummm...."
"Please just come jump our car, we're scared because it's dark and we're locked in the car."

So I show up and their hazard lights are flashing. I get out and I say "Hey, turn on your headlights." over their radio. The lights turn on in full force.

"Yeah, so it's not your battery."
"How do you know?"
"Because lights and radio are operated by electricity, which is produced from THE BATTERY."
"Oh. So what is it?"
"Try starting the engine."
*click(whir)*
*click*
"Yeah, it's probably your starter."
"Oh no!! What's a starter??"
"It starts the car. Technical term, I understand that it would cause confusion... Wait, do you have a stick or automatic?"

At this point I started realizing maybe she had a manual and it was something with the tranny or the clutch.

"Automatic."

There went that idea... but... Naaah. Well, lemme ask.

"Is it in park?"

*clickclickclick*

Then the car started. I laughed.

So, I had a way long story that I was writing last night to post here in the wonder electricllamaland, but as you can see by scrolling a tad, it is not here.

My modem clicked, I cursed a bit, I punched the computer, I cried.

My story was no longer. I even apologized for not posting lately. But not this time. Now I'm not sorry. Hahahaha! Chummmmmmmmmmmm.......................p.

Anyway, I have nothing to say other than MY HOUSE IS THE FREAKIN' COOLEST HOUSE AROUND.

That's my post, deal with it.