Dear Friend,

You and I have seen a lot of cool shit. I love you like a brother, and you know that I would go balls to the mothafuckin wall for you. But tomorrow I have to tell you something that might hurt you... because that's how it has to be. Not because I want it that way, but because it's really, truly necessary.

I want you to know that I would stab myself in the eye with a red hot fork seven thousand times rather than tell you this, but I fear that it wouldn't solve anything. I'm sorry man, I really, REALLY am. But sometimes, there are necessary shitty talks two guys have to have.

Please understand.

-Chris

In the past few days, regardless of my still being sick over the past 3 weeks, I've noticed that been getting over my writers block. I've been able to figure out how to express things a little better lately. A clearer state of mind, sort of. I think the reason might be because I've been taking vitamins lately, and been eating healthier again. Although, the past 24 hours haven't proven my eating habits are that good. I've had a splurgey kind of few days. Yesterday, I ate a Chicken Bacon Toaster and half of a large pepperoni at about 1 in the morning, with about a half liter of coke. Then, I finished off the pizza and coke this morning for breakfast at 1 pm. This qualifies as less than healthy, and breaks my diet, however it's very college, so I can get away with it.

I digress.

The vitamins really have really made me more aware in general, I think. I just feel more alert, awake, and less lazy. I guess that's really one of the reasons why you're supposed to take them though.

I don't feel like going to work tonight, due to this terrible sore throat I've developed. But, money is a reality, and so are bills. The worst part is, this is only Wednesday... which is my first day of the week. I work Wednesday - Sunday now.

Monday is my favorite time of year._track5

FancyLlama: I got online to blog. And now I don't feel like blogging anymore.
NameChangedToProtectTheInnocent: I do that all the time
FancyLlama: I wanted to try and figure who I was through talking to myself on my blog.
FancyLlama: Not so much figure it out, but more clearly define, I should say.
NCTPTI: I do that all the time ad I usually end up looking at an empty screen
NCTPTI: agreed
FancyLlama: Here's some things I do know:
FancyLlama: I like jazz music, no matter how unpopular it is in my age. Then again, I like most music genres.
FancyLlama: I like chick flicks, but I don't know why. They just make me feel good. Not that they are my favorite type, but I do really like them.
FancyLlama: I don't like peas. I never will.
FancyLlama: I think it's stupid when girls worry about making sure they look exactly right before they can leave the house.
FancyLlama: I don't like it when girls TRY to make it look like they don't care what they look like.
FancyLlama: I like long hair on girls. The right kind of guy can pull off long hair. It's not good or bad if you can or can't. Just some can and some can't.
FancyLlama: I can't pull of long hair.
FancyLlama: I don't like my hair at all.
FancyLlama: I don't like the way I look, but I am working on it.
FancyLlama: I like who I am, but it frustrates me when people don't.
FancyLlama: I like to joke around with people, and I like to tease people. I like it to be returned too. But I don't like it when someone has to tease you nonstop. Wake up and realize that sometimes, you should tell people they're awesome and let them know you appreciate them.
FancyLlama: I love sex.
FancyLlama: I think cars are so fucking cool.
FancyLlama: I know... NOTHING about cars.
FancyLlama: I know a few things about cars.
FancyLlama: I think computers are interesting, and I don't care if it makes me a nerd.
FancyLlama: I like to turn up the music real loud, dance in my underwear, then take a shower while rocking out. When I get out, I like to sing in the mirror, and make rockstar faces while playing air guitar/drums/bass.
FancyLlama: I enjoy masturbating in my free time.
FancyLlama: Sometimes, I don't want to masturbate.
FancyLlama: I worry about disapointing people too much. I realize that, and I don't do anything about it.
FancyLlama: I don't like to make waves. I've never been in a fight.
FancyLlama: I sometimes wish that I could just tell off a lot of people.
FancyLlama: I want to get in a fight.
FancyLlama: I wish I had bigger muscles. Mainly my upper body.
FancyLlama: When people make fun of me (not just tease, but actually put me down) I laugh at it anyway, and my heart sinks down in my stomach faster than a lead brick in a bucket of water.
FancyLlama: I don't think any subject should be taboo.
FancyLlama: Sometimes, when I'm getting intimate with a girl, I have problems getting it up. This is partially due to the fact that it happened once, and everytime since then I have thought about it too much, then think about what if she is highly unimpressed?
FancyLlama: I think the sexiest thing a girl can do is just be, and have a good time. If a girl is happy, in any way, then she's hot.
FancyLlama: I talk about sexuality a lot, but I'm not as big of a horndog as everyone thinks.
FancyLlama: I think oral sex is pretty fuckin cool. I love getting it, I'm totally down with giving it.
FancyLlama: I like sleeping with a girl just as much as "sleeping" with a girl.
FancyLlama: I'm italian. I'm proud.
FancyLlama: My italian shows. I'm proud.
FancyLlama: I don't cry. I feel like it shows a sign of weakness when I cry, but for everyone else it's healthy. I still don't know why that is.
FancyLlama: I don't like to drink. It's not my thing. I do like smoke the reefer.
FancyLlama: If anyone has a problem with me smoking, they can go fuck them selves, it's my life and my body. As long as I am in control of my life, I'm fine.
FancyLlama: I want to have kids when I grow up. I want to have a nice house and nice wife when I grow up. I want to make my family so happy when I grow up.
FancyLlama: I am scared shitless of growing up.
FancyLlama: I've grown up a lot these past few years.
FancyLlama: I don't trust anyone except for my mom.
FancyLlama: I love my mom, and I never tell her that.
FancyLlama: I suck at correspondence. I feel awful for that, but oh well, that's who I am.
FancyLlama: I feel like I am always being judged. I hate when people judge others.
FancyLlama: I think sports are so fucking rad. I have trouble understanding most sports.
FancyLlama: There's a lot of things about me that make me a terrible guy, according to society. I really don't give a shit.
FancyLlama: I don't have a big dick, but it's not small.
FancyLlama: I am smaller than average. That sucks.
FancyLlama: I am smaller than average. That still sucks, but I'm okay with it because I know how to use it.
FancyLlama: I like a girl who's sarcastic, witty, confident, vunerable, carefree and loving all at the exact same moment.
FancyLlama: I have no idea what I want to be.
FancyLlama: I love movies, but I haven't seen a lot of really great ones.
FancyLlama: Man, my dog is cool.
FancyLlama: I love playing video games, but I don't get all weird and nerdy and creepy about it.
FancyLlama: I feel better about myself than I have in a long time right now.
FancyLlama: That's all I've got right now.
* * * * * * * *
FancyLlama: I think I just blogged.
NCTPTI: I think so too

All I really want out of life (or my blog) is to send someone into an orgasmic frenzy. Now, I'm not talking naked on your friends couch while he runs to the store to pick up some ice cream and she says "well-that's-six-times-I'm-spent-and-he'll-be-home-any-minute-quick-get-dressed." I'm talking serious OrgasmiFest^TM from the words I've splattered across your display.

I guess I'll have to post more than once a month for that to happen though, EH???

Well, I am still without a computer, but as of late I have had more and more access to the net again, so I should be frequently posting again. Or not, who knows?

Being "cool" just isn't that... well, cool. I mean, it's all a big whoopidy-do if you're smooth with the ladies and you're Rockin' The Suburbs, but seriously fellas... stop trying so cool. I think the coolest people are the ones who aren't "cool". Stop trying to impress me with your flashy watch and new fangled SeeDeeSlashDeeVeeDeeSlashEmPeeThreePlayer. It's better to have a cool mind, if you ask me.

That's all I've got for that one. Nothing deep. Nothing flashy and spectacular to say today.

PS: There's always someone cooler than you. Unless there's nobody cooler than you.