i was asked by a student yesterday the following question:

"mister, if you were an action figure, which accessories would you want to be included in your package?"

instantly i recognized this to be a student of unmatched genious. it turns out that she is making a comic strip about her teachers and i have the privilege of determining which tools conform most to my style of crime fighting or menacing, depending upon the bent of my character.

BRAVO!!

as my personal homage to that greatest of Danes, that question is the most recent addition to a mini-survey i administer to my kids called the nine by four.

miscellanea:

shouts out to a local radio jock on the "independent" station in my town. he remarked that his station was the first in the country to play avril. 9thats not the part im shouting out about, i assure you0. he received a complaint email from a listener saying that now that shes like hit it big and is on magazine covers and on stations like star that our local station is no longer independent and has sold out or something. shouts go out to that local jock for noticing that this joker had an aol.com email address.

this segment of the blog is dedicated to some radio adverts ive been reflecting upon:

first, i heard some commercial try to bring back the phrase "Booyah!" bad move, chuck...bad move.

id like personally to condemn those 7-11 commercials where the stomach is "coming a choo live from deep inside yo body". these commercials have succeeded, ironically, in keeping me from ever going to 7-11 again. various parts of the body conversing about the apparently tasty treats the minimart has to offer; each organs voice successively more annoying than the one before it; the dorky white organ saying "git down wid yo bad self"; the black stomach actually using the phrase "bling, bling". who comes up with this stuff?

the upshot is that that guy who does the stomach gig has destroyed the longevity of his career simply because no other ad execs will quite be able to see him as the voice of their product.

and a final word about a radio spot for the new jackie chan movie, the tuxedo. i reveled in the nostalgia of my good old days upon hearing jackie chan stumble over some comment about this 47million dollar tuxedo not being "a rental" in true action flick one-line style. it brought back the early days of schwarzeneggers career (commando, running man, predator) and all the priceless one-liners they trained him, like so many chimpanzees, to mimic.

ans while were at it, lets give it up for chris tucker, the only actor in a jackie chan film harder to understand than jackie chan.

top ten albums: my own personal perennial favorites (in no particular order)
coldplay - parachutes
radiohead - ok computer
jump, little children - magazine
incubus - make yourself/morning view (i cant decide between but one of them belongs on my list)
lauryn hill - the miseducation of lauryn hill
over the rhine - good dog bad dog
otis redding - the ultimate otis redding
portishead - dummy
cake - fashion nugget
morrissey - bona drag

i know ill be angry with myself when i remember something i left off, but oh well, not like this is rolling stone or anything.

ugh. been sooooo busy.

alright, lets just say that sometimes renegade street justice is the best thing. so when that guy decided that his convenience was more important than regimented social convention, he deserved to have his truck spitted upon by me and one who shall remain nameless.

HERES A QUESTION FOR THE GUYS: a matter of obligation versus consideration:
there is a unisex bathroom here at work for teachers to use. of course, its single occupancy. suppose i walk in to find the seat up, and for the purpose at hand, it suits me just fine. upon leaving, knowing that the next occupant may be a woman, whats my responsibility in terms of lowering the seat? please drop your comments in the box. and ladies, i wouldnt mind hearing your opinions if you feel so inclined.

hello space cadets. stay tuned for the latest including why i had to spit on that truck.