Well, what can I say...this movie was far worse than I expected. If you know me, you know how much I really dont care for Julia Roberts. (By the way, I don't like Billy Crystal either!) Nevertheless, I was out of my wits to think I might actually enjoy this film. After all, I love John Cusack, I love Hank Azaria, and I don't mind Catherine Zeta-Jones. I admit I was delighted to discover (while watching the film) that Christopher Walken was cast as well. But in the end, I was to be disappointed.

I was actually sort of on board with this picture for the first 20 minutes of the film. Then...IT happened. Or should I say, IT started happening and kept right on happening. The IT of which I write is the infamous (some say) comedy bit which is so popular with fans of movies like Three Ninjas. I'm referring to scenes that play on our cultures dim-witted acceptance (yea, exultation is more like it) of genital humor. In the opinion of this critic, what these scenes lack in comedic output, they make up for in vast superfluousnessity (or whatever).

First, I was put off by a scene (shown in the trailer) where Lee (Crystal) has his gems massaged by a dog's nose. The trend continued with scene in which Eddie (Cusack) falls directly onto a cactus plant penis first. To make matters worse it is made to look like his removing the "pricklers" from his pants is an act of masturbation. The film then commits suicide by turning this lame piece of screenwriting into a major plot line. Later in the film, the most disjointed scene in the entire picture occurs in which Seth Green's character gets hit in the head with a golf ball. And just for icing on the funeral procession cake the closing scene of the movie shows your favorite canine companion and mine getting fresh with Lee for a second time.

Gag me with a spoon, please!

The taste left in my mouth by this series of scenes is what I suppose stagnant urine must taste like. I'll let you know before I ever watch this film again on video! But the movie had its good aspects, as you would expect any picture with this kind of budget and star power. Cusack did not dissapoint (though the film doesn't make his top five list by any stretch.) Notable performance were given by Azaria, Walken, and Alan Arkin. The film premier scene is clever; it alone justifies the watching of this film (provided you movie hop into this feature). This was the worst performance I have ever seen Seth Green give in any film I have suffered watching. I should point out that the earlier mentioned golfball atrocity was his best scene in the entire film.

In summary, I can only say...I'm glad Mom paid for this ticket.